Physician Strike Enters 3rd Week After Custodial Staff Purchase Embroidered Jackets
Ann Arbor, MI – Physicians throughout Michigan Medicine have continued into the third week of a bitter and protracted strike with no end in sight.
Following a contentious leak from the Environmental Services department, a...
Pain Specialist Uses Ibuprofen Bottle as Substitute for Call System
Dr. Habad Malik sent shock waves through the local medical community when he left town for a week, entrusting his call system to a generic bottle of ibuprofen left outside of his office with...
MS-IV Doesn’t Match After Failing to Post Board Scores on Facebook
James Thomas, a fourth-year medical student, went unmatched this year after he failed to report his passing board scores on his Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn accounts.
Thomas was unable to secure a spot in...
CDC Reporting New Condition Affecting Residency Applicants: Email Refresh Syndrome (ERS)
ATLANTA, GA - Each fall, thousands of fourth-year medical students submit residency applications and eagerly wait for interview invitations. This has traditionally been an exciting time for students, but after a recent CDC study...
CDC announces that 100% of the world’s population will be over 65 by 2050.
Yesterday in a stunning revelation, the CDC released a report which predicts that by the year 2050 the entire global population will be over the age of 65.
“We were flabbergasted and checked our calculations...
IT Department to design new, creative ways to lock you out of your EMR...
Regional Samaritan Hospital; Kearney NE. After a long meeting of the IT department at RSH, Jay Koh, VP of Information Technology announced that new and creative ways of locking practitioners out of their EMR...
One-Dimensional Chiropractic Anatomist Only Dissects Vertebral Arteries
Norfolk, NE- Kim Strokemaker was only 3 months into her chiropractic training when she performed her first vertebral artery dissection. “As soon as I cracked his neck, the customer’s entire body relaxed. It was...
New Concierge Pediatrics Office Won’t Turn Away Any Kids with Money
GREENWICH, CT—Piggybacking off the successful concierge medicine practices that have sprung up over the last two decades, a local pediatrician, Dr. Willis Cornwallis, has founded a concierge pediatrics practice. Named PedsVIP, the business model...
New Helmet for Spleen Allows Mononucleosis Patients to Play Contact Sports
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—Athletes afflicted with infectious mononucleosis, a disease caused by the Epstein-Barr virus and sometimes marked by splenomegaly, will soon be able to participate in contact sports throughout the course of their illness....
God Postpones Miracle Due to Slightly High INR of 1.6
HEAVEN ABOVE - God, Creator of the Universe, has decided to postpone His plans for a miracle today after morning labs revealed an elevated INR of 1.6, Gomerblog reports.
"He can eat," God reluctantly told...