The Pen Is Mightier Than the Sword, But This Ativan Tho
This Charlie Hebdo incident is horrendous. Free speech is a vital right, but I know something else even more vital to ensure world peace....
Emergency Medicine Attending Fails to Admit Old Man, Resigns
BLOOMINGTON, IN - Emergency medicine attending, Dr. Howard Rugers, announced his retirement yesterday after failing to find reason for admission for 95-year-old Herschel Levenstein,...
Hospital Administrators Bring Hope & Quality to Remote African Village
BAALAH, KENYA - A medical mission trip made up entirely of hospital administrators has just returned to America after a week serving the needy in a remote...
Hospitals Unleash New, Brutally Honest Slogans
NEW YORK, NY - Forget the days of the compassionate and uplifting slogans like “A Passion for Healing,” “Because Your Life Matters,” or “Every...
In Catastrophic Med-School Blunder, Student Gives Actual Feedback About Rotation
In a rare but highly consequential faux pas, third-year medical student Kevin Garlander gave his actual opinion when asked about the quality of his...
Hospital Debuts Combination Clinic/Pharmacy Drive-Thru
RALEIGH, NC - A brand new healthcare system opened in Raleigh last week, as Atlantic Healthcare System (AHS) unveiled its state-of-the-art drive-thru clinic/pharmacy to rave...
TSA to Start Screening for Colorectal Cancer at Airports
ATLANTA, GA – U.S. government officials said on Thursday that they would start screening patients for unintentional weight loss and bloody stools, starting with...
Amidst Obesity Epidemic, Task Force Creates Glasgow Food Coma Scale
ATLANTA, GA - In response to the public health crisis of food comas resulting from the ongoing obesity epidemic, the 3N Joint Task Force,...
American Geriatrics Association Publishes Guidelines on Gomeritis
The American Geriatrics Association has finally published its guidelines on gomeritis, a complex entity caused by the progressive deterioration of a gomerular brain. A...
Surgeon Time Finally Debunked with New App
"How much longer?" anesthesia will ask. "Only about an hour or so," a typical surgeon might answer. Then anesthesia is forced to ask themselves,...