Updated 2015 ACLS Algorithm
ACLS KEY BELOW:
* Medical Team Confused as Patient Made DNR Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays
** Joint Commission Mandates Extensive Timeout Prior to Initiating CPR
*** Product Review: Mattel’s Resuscitate Me Elmo
**** New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out...
The Medical Professional Development Drinking Game
All health professionals will have to participate in some sort of mandatory professional development from time to time. Whether it’s an organization-wide initiative to "change the culture" or a departmental meeting to cover someone’s...
Hospital Administrators Rename RNs to ‘Refreshments and Narcotics’
TAMPA, FL - In order to comply with new government healthcare regulations involving patient satisfaction, hospital administrators at Tampa Memorial Cross Hospital have decided to rename registered nurses (RNs) to a more appropriate title, “Refreshments and...
Orthopedics Consults Infectious Diseases for Potential Computer Virus
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Dr. Joseph Dell of Orthopedic Surgery was hoping it would be a calm day; no surgeries were scheduled and his clinic schedule today was surprisingly light. After two months of...
White Doctors Removed From Endangered Species List After Successful Breeding In Captivity
WASHINGTON, DC - In a landmark move marking the resounding success of the Caucasian Physician Breeding In Captivity Program (CPBCP), the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service (FWS) has removed white doctors from the endangered species list.
"This...
Medical Student Discovers Niche in Surgery as Edward Retractor Hands
MADISON, WI - "That’s not my real name, but it works," stated Jimmy M. Smith, a third-year medical student from UW Madison Medical School. The young man has been a big hit with the surgery...
Intern Shocked to Discover TV Residency and Real Residency Vastly Different
BALTIMORE, MD - Dr. Anita Campbell dreamt of becoming a physician for years. Three months ago, she finally graduated from medical school to fulfill her lifelong calling. Growing up watching shows like Scrubs and...
Fantasy Medicine: Who’s Hot, Who’s Not
Before July 1, many of this year’s rookie class were considered average at best and were rarely selected in any rounds of fantasy leagues worldwide. However, what we have witnessed in the first three...
Anesthesiologists Cannot Find Reason to Cancel Case Right Before Shift Change
SPOKANE, WA – In a stunning development, believed to be the first of its kind here at Southern Spokane University Hospital, a patient is currently being brought into the OR without a single word...
Local Psychiatrist Using Big Words, Wondering Why Patients Aren’t Improving
MEMPHIS, TN - "I usually start the session off by telling the patient about my triple boards in psychiatry, adult developmental psychiatry, and addiction medicine. Then I continue into how long medical school was...
