Local Hospital Pleased to Offer Natural Surgery
VASHON ISLAND, WA - A growing number of Americans are attracted to natural and alternative remedies, whether it be Echinacea for colds, shark cartilage for chemotherapy, or giving birth squatting in a tranquil forest pond far...
Hospital Custodial Manager: ‘I Love Irritating the S**t Out of Them’
CLEVELAND, OH - GomerBlog reporters are able to confirm that custodial staff at Memorial Hospital do indeed intentionally buff floors and clean bathrooms at the most inopportune time. Head custodial manager Wilson Mayers accidentally...
Patient Allergic to Epinephrine, Dies When Doctor Suddenly Slams Door
HAMPTON, NJ - Local resident Shelly McDonald died suddenly on Thursday when she was at her doctor's office. Her doctor is currently being charged with malpractice on several accounts. According to sources, Shelly was checking Facebook on...
Local Health System Admits to Scaring Away Older Physicians with Technology
LAS VEGAS, NV - When faced with the difficult work of encouraging some older, higher paid doctors to retire (so they could be replaced with younger, cheaper doctors), Allouette Health Systems decided on a...
Man Pretends to Have Heroin Addiction Just to Go to Rehab
SAN DIEGO, CA - 37-year-old respiratory therapist, Jonathan Mildersten, like many other working at University Hospital, was getting burned out. Pay was decreasing and vacation days slashed to help keep costs down. Mildersten was forced...
Pseudoseizure: Please Practice Before Coming to the ED
MILWAUKEE, WI - Emergency department staff at Elm Grove Methodist Medical Center thoroughly enjoyed the complete nonsensical seizure performance by a local homemaker.
Carol Whitaker, 43, of Wauwatosa presented to the Emergency Department yesterday with what she...
CDC Plans to Move and Quarantine Unvaccinated Families
ATLANTA, GA - In a move that is sure to spark controversy and protest, the CDC released Proposition 23.4 yesterday which grants state governments the right to quarantine unvaccinated families. According to the proposal, state...
Definition of ‘Idiopathic’ Leaked, Millions of Patients Outraged
UNKNOWN, USA - Waiting rooms have seen record numbers of infuriated patients this week, after one patient stumbled across "idiopathic" in the dictionary. The patient, who has quickly become known as Dictionary Guy, led to...
Yawning: America’s New Epidemic
YAHNSBERG, YAWNSIN - The first case of yawning was reported in 622 BC by Cepheyawneas. Historians may continue to debate if this case was Patient Zero, but they do agree there is more yawning today than ever before. ...
Physician-Americans to Be Listed in Next U.S. Census as Newest Ethnic Group
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Census Bureau has just announced that Physician-Americans will be listed as a choice in the 2020 Census survey. Capitalizing on trend towards tribalism in America, many medical doctors and...
