ER Refuses to End Hospital Shutdown Until IM Agrees to Admit All Drunks
NEW ORLEANS, LA – Tulane Medical Center has shut down the hospital after negotiations between the Emergency Room (ER) and Internal Medicine (IM) failed...
Neurologist Wondering Where She Put Her Tuning Spoon & Tuning Knife
DURHAM, NC - This past November, neurologist Adrianna Phelps was forced to improvise and use a tuning fork to eat her Caesar salad. Ever...
Medical Student Inadvertently Contaminates Entire OR by Mere Brief Existence
ATLANTA, GA - “Don’t touch that!” snapped the surgical tech, referring to anything and everything in the OR at once. Although he was standing...
Bitcoin Users Infected with Cryptocurrency Meningitis
ATLANTA, GA - Over the past month, volatile swings in bitcoin have led to an ominous halving of its value, which has thrown investors...
Medical Device Company to Debut Sitbit
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Medical device company Pulsa Tech is unveiling the new Sitbit this week. Similar to its popular predecessor the Fitbit and Sh*tbit,...
Hospital Audited for Not Inputting Patient Height into EMR During Code
LAS CRUCES, NM - Red Rock Hospital recently came under fire when one of their resident physicians neglected to input a patient’s height during a...
Grey’s Anatomy Removes New Actor Mehmet Oz From Show Because He Has the Same...
LOS ANGELES, CA - The producers for the hit TV medical drama Grey's Anatomy announced today they're removing a new character because the actor's...
Med Student Mistakes Dialysis Machine for ATM Machine
NASHVILLE, TN - As much as they wanted to help out third-year medical student Erin Sperling, the staff of the dialysis unit at Vanderbilt...
Gastroenterologist Explains Coffee-Pooping Connection
POOPOO, HI - The link between morning coffee consumption and bowel movements has been well known throughout history. Even medieval Starbucks had chamber pots for...
Patient Admitted with Life-Threatening Butthurt Exacerbation
CHICAGO, IL - "Move people, this guy's crashing!" EMTs yelled, asking everyone to get out of their way as they aggressively carried 33-year-old Alexander...