Hospital Operator Fired for Relaying “Code Brown”
NEW JERSEY – 27-year-old hospital operator, Jeremy Dickerson, was fired last week after accidentally relaying an incorrect message over the hospital PA system. Dickerson, instead of announcing "Code Blue!" made a near fatal mistake and...
Food Truck Entrepreneur Now Providing Endoscopies
OUTSIDE METROPOLITAN HEALTH SYSTEM - Let's face it, hospital cafeteria food is hideous, even when it's labeled correctly. That's why people in scrubs line up every day for the half a dozen food trucks park...
Secret of Successful Weight Loss Clinic: Tape Worms
CARINGTON, IL - Recent controversy regarding a famous weight loss clinic, Let’s Knock It Off!, has the media in a buzz. Let’s Knock It Off! has been an up-and-coming weight-loss empire, with many Hollywood success stories.
Perennial weight-gainer/weight-loser,...
Gastroenterologist Discovers Advanced Colonoscopy Technique, Twerk Position, While Working on Miley Cyrus
ANAHEIM, CA - Dr. Dan Abernath, known as the gastroenterologist to the stars, submitted a paper to Gastroenterology, describing a new advanced colonoscopy technique for difficult cases. While scoping the now world famous "twerker,"...
Friday ‘Dump Job’ Ends Back on Hospitalist
PORTLAND, MA – Hospitalist Dr. Doug Moore was trying to plan ahead for his upcoming weekend. He knew he had to take Ms. Williams off his list to have a completely free weekend. Dr. Moore tried...
Scientists Perfect the No-Wipe Poop
BLOOMINGTON, IL – Scientists at Fermi-Labs have discovered something more remarkable and useful to the human race than the God Particle: no-wipe poops. Dan Schneider, PhD, lead scientist on this landmark discovery, told reporters,...
PlayStation 3 to Unveil ‘Colonoscopy’ Video Game
SAN MATEO, CA – PlayStation developers plan to release the highly anticipated Colonoscopy 2016 video game to the public soon, with 2,000 special orders already being sold. The excitement over this revolutionary colonoscopy game is...
Report: Always Room for Jell-O Confirmed
AUSTIN, TX – Researchers at University of Texas, Austin have confirmed there is always room for Jell-O. Press release Dr. Sarah King spoke with reporters confirming a long held but untested belief.
“After a large...
Colon Loses It, Screams “OK, EVERYBODY OUT!”
BELLY, HUMAN - Bowel uncharacteristically threw everyone out yesterday after a Mexican named Burrito arrived, according to Stomach. "I've always thought Colon was an open-minded guy," said Stomach. Stomach invited Burrito in and according...
