Hospitalists

Breaking: Penlights Extinct

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CHICAGO, IL - The American Association of Physical Exam Tools & Instruments (AAPETI) has announced that penlights are officially extinct, Gomerblog reports. "It is with...
palliative care hot streak 35th straight patient

On a Hot Streak, Palliative Care Makes 35th Straight Patient DNR

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Displaying once again why they are the most dominant subspecialty at Los Angeles Medical Center (LAMC) right now, Palliative Care...
standardized patient

Family Meeting Gone Awry: Patient Makes Medical Team DNR

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KNOXVILLE, TN - In a palliative care-run family meeting that has gone completely awry, a patient and family has made their multidisciplinary inpatient medical...
chapped lips hot mess express

All Aboard! Next Stop on the Hot Mess Express: ICU City!

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ER STATION - All aboard! Health care professionals, have your tickets and IDs in hand as you get ready to step aboard the...
hospitalist

Hospitalist Program Offers 7-Years-On/7-Years-Off Schedule

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PHOENIX, AZ—Many hospitalist programs around the country follow a 7-on/7-off model where clinicians work long hours for 7 consecutive days followed by a full...

Spa Offers ‘Ultimate Relaxation’ With 55-Minute Carotid Sinus Massage

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SANTA FE, MN - For guests who want to experience the ultimate in relaxation, the spa at the Inn of the Four Extremities is...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Review: Lesser-Known Types of Enemas

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Constipation is prevalent in hospitalized patients. Systematic reviews have shown that 99.7% of patients are constipated from prolonged bedrest or medication side effects,...
chapped lips hot mess express

Patient Formally Diagnosed as Acute on Chronic Hot Mess

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SANTA FE, NM - After a battery of laboratory tests, radiographic imaging, and subspecialty consultations, a team of health care professionals has formally diagnosed...
Jerome Adams Surgeon General Surgeon Colonel

Surgeon General Turfs Public Health to Hospitalist General

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the complex medical comorbidity of our country's citizens, Surgeon General Jerome Adams has turfed the public health to Hospitalist General...