Hospitalists

heparin bridge

Atlanta Uses Heparin Bridge for Collapsed, Subtherapeutic Part of I-85

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ATLANTA, GA - Nearly 24 hours after a massive fire engulfed and collapsed a section of I-85 Northbound near Piedmont Road, rendering it subtherapeutic and...
chapped lips hot mess express

All Aboard! Next Stop on the Hot Mess Express: ICU City!

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ER STATION - All aboard! Health care professionals, have your tickets and IDs in hand as you get ready to step aboard the...

Millennial Admitted to Hospital for ‘Fevers, Netflix & Chills’

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BOCA RATON, FL - Yesterday evening, staff hospitalist Dr Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was called by the Madre De Díos Hospital ER to admit a patient with the...
npo guidelines acute pulmonary embolism

100,000,000 Miles Later: Santa Diagnosed with Acute Pulmonary Embolism

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NORTH POLE - Santa pulled off another successful Christmas for children around the world but it has come with a cost: Earlier this morning,...

Cinnabon Creates New Insulin Rolls: Insulinabons

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SEATTLE, WA - American purveyor of cinnamon rolls and diabetes, Cinnabon has announced a new tactic to combat the obesity epidemic, not by changing...
potassium

Team to Replete the Hell Out of Patient’s Potassium

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LOUISVILLE, KY - An inpatient multidisciplinary team of nurses, nurse practitioners, physician assistants, nutritionists, hospitalists, nephrologists, and cardiologists at Louisville Medical Center (LMC) has...
hospitalist place

Placement: A Hospitalist’s Perspective

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By Hospitalist Dr. Eric O'Malley Placement.  I like placement.  I like nursing home placement.  I like rehab placement.  I like acute rehab placement.  I like...
Jerome Adams Surgeon General Surgeon Colonel

Surgeon General Turfs Public Health to Hospitalist General

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the complex medical comorbidity of our country's citizens, Surgeon General Jerome Adams has turfed the public health to Hospitalist General...

Intern Immediately Regrets Asking Open-Ended Question

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SAN JOSE, CA - “Hi, Mr. Jones.  Tell me about your night,” said by the stupidest, know-nothingest, why-did-I-just-do-that intern, Dr. Austin.  Austin, a new...
birthday

On-Call Doctor Celebrates Birthday with 17 of His Closest Patients

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CHICAGO, IL - Absolutely convinced that there was no better way to spend this special day, on-call internal medicine physician Jack Romeo celebrated his 34th birthday with 17 of...