Area LEGO Man Admitted with Bright Red Blocks Per Rectum
LEGOLAND, FL - An area LEGO man is in serious condition at LEGOLAND Medical Center after he presented to the emergency department (ED) with...
Contrary to Consultant’s Advice, Doctor is Now Hesitant to Call Back with Any Questions
AUSTIN, TX - After admitting a patient with end-stage congestive heart failure, third-year internal medicine resident Amanda Cummings consulted the cardiology service to help...
Full-Strength Aspirin Now 331 Milligrams to Adjust for Inflation
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) in conjunction with the U.S. Department of the Treasury have reported that they have increased...
Spa Offers ‘Ultimate Relaxation’ With 55-Minute Carotid Sinus Massage
SANTA FE, MN - For guests who want to experience the ultimate in relaxation, the spa at the Inn of the Four Extremities is...
Nurse Enters the Cave of Wonders, Finds Infamous Resident Genie
On her Saturday shift, Anne looked unusually ecstatic. This is the same Anne who usually has a frown on her face and is looking...
Combative Little Old Lady Requires Record-Breaking 11-to-1 Sitter
SEATTLE, WA - Looks can be deceiving. 87-year-old Marsha Lynch may look like a lovely little old lady, but when she sundowns, she’s one...
Fifth Pressor Discovered: ICU Stay Extended 2 Days, No Difference in Outcome
LOS ANGELES, CA – Critical care physicians and nurses rejoiced Thursday at the news of a 5th vasopressor drug-class discovery. 5-omega-dopanephrinone or "Omnipress" is a...
Breaking: Tilt Table All Crooked & Sh*t
ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, hospitalists, cardiologists, and neurologists at Emory Healthcare have come to a rare consensus, agreeing this tilt...
Hospitalist Spends Day After Christmas Returning Unwanted Admissions
MORGANTON, NC - Like most people in America, Dr. Lara Nottarg got some things for Christmas that she didn’t exactly want. Unlike most Americans,...
It Took Over 3 Years, But ICU Team Finally Finishes Untangling All Those Lines
SAN JOSE, CA - It took over 3 years and 7 months to do, but the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Holy Cross...