Hospitalists

cryptocurrency meningitis

Bitcoin Users Infected with Cryptocurrency Meningitis

0
ATLANTA, GA - Over the past month, volatile swings in bitcoin have led to an ominous halving of its value, which has thrown investors...

New Medical Unit Quiet Hours Now From 3 PM to 2:59 PM

0
NASHVILLE, TN - In an effort to provide much needed peace and quiet for the medical staff, Unit 4G at Nashville Memorial Hospital has...
family meeting

Doctor Trapped In Time Vortex Re-Explaining Medical Care to Multiple Family Members

0
BOCA RATON, FL - Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram has been trapped in an apparent healthcare time vortex as he continues to be forced to re-explain medical care...
abdominal pain

Hospitalist Becomes Own Endless Loop

24
In a stunning procession of events, nocturnist Angus "Kilty" McSwagger became the only known hospitalist to experience the so-called "admission mirror paradox."  Long speculated...

Nurse Enters the Cave of Wonders, Finds Infamous Resident Genie

0
On her Saturday shift, Anne looked unusually ecstatic.  This is the same Anne who usually has a frown on her face and is looking...

Patient in Room 3 Worried After Code Blues in 1, 2, 4 & 5

0
ATLANTA, GA - “Oh God oh God oh God!” is what Tim McConnell said to himself in a fit of paranoia after a fourth...
palliative care hot streak 35th straight patient

On a Hot Streak, Palliative Care Makes 35th Straight Patient DNR

0
LOS ANGELES, CA - Displaying once again why they are the most dominant subspecialty at Los Angeles Medical Center (LAMC) right now, Palliative Care...
moon placement

Placement Tips: How to Place a Patient on the Moon

0
If there's something social workers and hospitalists are really good at it's placement.  But every once in a while a difficult placement comes along....
colonoscopy

Breaking: Gastroenterologist Thinks Patient is Full of Sh*t

0
COOKEVILLE, TN - A local gastroenterologist by the name of Baxter Jones completely shocked patient Mason Watts and his family when he flat out...
explosion

Clinic Nurse and Doctor Suffer Burnout, Spontaneously Combust

0
MIAMI, FL - Staff at Miami Health Clinic are mourning the loss of two well-loved and respected colleagues, Nurse Michelle Boosh and Dr. George...