Hospitalists Aim to Place All Americans by 2020
PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Society of Hospital Medicine (SHM) has announced a new multibillion-dollar PBP initiative, which stands for "Place, Baby, Place!", with the...
Not Impressed: Cards Downgrades A-Fib to B-Minus
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Completely unimpressed by his patient's routine ECG this morning, cardiologist Paul Framingham has formally downgraded the diagnosis from an A-fib to...
Placement: A Hospitalist’s Perspective
By Hospitalist Dr. Eric O'Malley
Placement. I like placement. I like nursing home placement. I like rehab placement. I like acute rehab placement. I like...
Intern Immediately Regrets Asking Open-Ended Question
SAN JOSE, CA - “Hi, Mr. Jones. Tell me about your night,” said by the stupidest, know-nothingest, why-did-I-just-do-that intern, Dr. Austin. Austin, a new...
American Red Cross Creates American Brown Cross for Fecal Transplant Donations
WASHINGTON, DC - Despite increasing clinician awareness and education as well as instituting universal gloving procedures, hospital-associated Clostridium difficile infections have continued to be...
Medical Service’s “Rock” Patient Discovered Upon Physical Exam to Be Actual Rock
PLYMOUTH, MA - Intern Douglas McCombs was surprised to learn this morning that a patient on the medical service, who had been deemed a...
Hospitals Now Offering Seasonal Pumpkin-Spiced Patient Satisfaction Surveys
BOCA RATON, FL - Hospital administrators at Madre De Díos Medical Center will now offer seasonal pumpkin-spiced patient satisfaction surveys in order to improve...
Patient Formally Diagnosed as Acute on Chronic Hot Mess
SANTA FE, NM - After a battery of laboratory tests, radiographic imaging, and subspecialty consultations, a team of health care professionals has formally diagnosed...
All Aboard! Next Stop on the Hot Mess Express: ICU City!
ER STATION - All aboard! Health care professionals, have your tickets and IDs in hand as you get ready to step aboard the...
To Capture More Cardiology Viewers, Jake Tapper Renames Show to “The 12-Lead”
ATLANTA, GA - In an attempt to attract a higher percentage of the much-desired cardiology demographic, producers and the host of "The Lead" Jake Tapper have...