Hospitalists

influenza C. diff

That Can’t Be Good: Flu Swab Positive for C. Diff

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ATLANTA, GA - In a highly-ominous sign suggesting this year's influenza season may be as bad or even worse than last year's, the Centers...
birthday

On-Call Doctor Celebrates Birthday with 17 of His Closest Patients

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CHICAGO, IL - Absolutely convinced that there was no better way to spend this special day, on-call internal medicine physician Jack Romeo celebrated his 34th birthday with 17 of...
hospitalist

Hospitalist Program Offers 7-Years-On/7-Years-Off Schedule

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PHOENIX, AZ—Many hospitalist programs around the country follow a 7-on/7-off model where clinicians work long hours for 7 consecutive days followed by a full...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: The Adjective of Pus is ‘Purulent,’ Not ‘P**sy’

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ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an important reminder to healthcare providers today, reminding them once and...
pumpkin spice

Hospitals Now Offering Seasonal Pumpkin-Spiced Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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BOCA RATON, FL - Hospital administrators at Madre De Díos Medical Center will now offer seasonal pumpkin-spiced patient satisfaction surveys in order to improve...
explosion

Clinic Nurse and Doctor Suffer Burnout, Spontaneously Combust

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MIAMI, FL - Staff at Miami Health Clinic are mourning the loss of two well-loved and respected colleagues, Nurse Michelle Boosh and Dr. George...
barium enema

Barium Enema Reveals Abnormal Presence of Barium in the Colon

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NEW YORK, NY - An inpatient medical team was shocked to learn that a barium enema performed earlier today revealed an abnormal presence of...
heparin bridge

Atlanta Uses Heparin Bridge for Collapsed, Subtherapeutic Part of I-85

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ATLANTA, GA - Nearly 24 hours after a massive fire engulfed and collapsed a section of I-85 Northbound near Piedmont Road, rendering it subtherapeutic and...

Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

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Ad text Actual meaning Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital   The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and...
"Mostly useless!" credentialing process

Hospitalist Dictation at Home Goes Tragically Wrong

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ST. PAUL, MN - Dr. Dave Krieger was running late last Tuesday when, in retrospect, he made a terrible mistake: he decided to dictate his...