Tuesday, May 11, 2021

Hospitalists

Iron Man hemochromatosis

Breaking: Iron Man Diagnosed with Hemochromatosis

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NEW YORK, NY - After his primary care physician insist he undergo several tests over the past month to uncover the cause of his abnormal liver function tests (LFTs), Iron Man has unfortunately been...
routine blood work urine A-fib B-minus

Not Impressed: Cards Downgrades A-Fib to B-Minus

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Completely unimpressed by his patient's routine ECG this morning, cardiologist Paul Framingham has formally downgraded the diagnosis from an A-fib to B-minus.  "It's not that...
gunner physician

Physician is Such a Gunner, Writes Two Notes on Same Patient in One Day

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ATLANTA, GA - In a striking development last night at Georgia Medical Center (GMC), internal medicine physician Craig Kellerman wrote two notes on the same patient in the same day, an unheard of feat...

Area LEGO Man Admitted with Bright Red Blocks Per Rectum

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LEGOLAND, FL - An area LEGO man is in serious condition at LEGOLAND Medical Center after he presented to the emergency department (ED) with bright red blocks per rectum (BRBPR).  "He had 3 episodes...

Tips: How to Keep Your Necktie Nice & Colonized‏

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So who doesn’t love neckties?  Not only do they strangle your windpipe, but they also spread disease with reckless abandon.  Cheers to that!  Here are some of our favorite ways at GomerBlog to help...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: The Adjective of Pus is ‘Purulent,’ Not ‘P**sy’

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ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an important reminder to healthcare providers today, reminding them once and for all that the adjective of pus is “purulent,” not...
"Mostly useless!" credentialing process

Transfer Records Lacking Hundreds of Useless Pages

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – Dr. Rajiv Katar, a physician at Philadelphia General Hospital, was astonished on Friday to receive transfer records that included a discharge summary – and only that – lacking the usual several-hundred-page...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

Brave MD Sorts Through Inbox of 100,000 COVID-19 Emails

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PORTLAND, OR - It goes without saying that every act of bravery in a time of crisis should be recognized. Today Gomerblog wants to salute one such hero: emergency room physician,...
standardized patient

Family Meeting Gone Awry: Patient Makes Medical Team DNR

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KNOXVILLE, TN - In a palliative care-run family meeting that has gone completely awry, a patient and family has made their multidisciplinary inpatient medical team DNR/DNI with comfort measures only.
paddles for defibrillation

Hospitalist Administering CPR Interrupted With STAT Coding Query

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BOCA RATON, FL - Area hospitalist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was running a code on a pulseless patient when he received an emergent coding query on his cell phone. Gomerblog has obtained an official transcript of...