Hospitalists

Insomniac Cured After One Question, Wonders Why He Didn’t Think of It Before

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BISMARCK, ND - In an unprecedented success story, patient Igor Soapen has finally been relieved of the insomnia that plagued his life.  And he...
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Ultra Breaking News: Patient Doesn’t Want Turkey Sandwich

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NORFOLK, VA - Gomerblog brings you a startling development: A patient hospitalized at an area hospital in Norfolk has caught his inpatient medical team...

COVID-19: ACGME Redeploys Interns to Check on Healthcare Workers’ Parents

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CHICAGO, IL - The Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) announced that interns will no longer see patients not only to preserve personal...
heparin bridge

Atlanta Uses Heparin Bridge for Collapsed, Subtherapeutic Part of I-85

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ATLANTA, GA - Nearly 24 hours after a massive fire engulfed and collapsed a section of I-85 Northbound near Piedmont Road, rendering it subtherapeutic and...

Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated

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RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning.  She found...
hospitalist place

Placement: A Hospitalist’s Perspective

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By Hospitalist Dr. Eric O'Malley Placement.  I like placement.  I like nursing home placement.  I like rehab placement.  I like acute rehab placement.  I like...

Ask a Hospitalist

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Dear Hospitalist, I’ve been having chest pain for the past three weeks.  I get it right in the middle of the chest, it's worse when...

Breaking: Penlights Extinct

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CHICAGO, IL - The American Association of Physical Exam Tools & Instruments (AAPETI) has announced that penlights are officially extinct, Gomerblog reports. "It is with...
doctor calling consult

Area Doctor Now Apologizes Before Every Consult

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MARKERSBURG, TN - Dr. Lois Siento thinks she has the key to improving relationships between primary teams and consultants. "It's simple," she explains. "We give...
Super Bowl party AMA Dilaudid

What, No Dilaudid?! Guests Leave Super Bowl Party AMA

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ATLANTA, GA - Stating that the party spread of salads, sandwiches, guacamole, cheese and pepperoni pizza, wings, burgers, hot dogs, and fried chicken simply...