Heavy Metal Now First Line in Treatment of Symptomatic Bradycardia
DALLAS, TX - New advanced cardiac life support (ACLS) guidelines from the American Heart Association (AHA) now recommends heavy metal as the first line...
Medical Records Censor Crucial at Removing Admission and Discharge Summaries for Transfer
MUDVILLE, TN - Jimmy Blake, MBA, MHA, Good Samaritan’s Vice President for Administrative Affairs, speaking on condition of having his full name printed at...
Tearful Reunion Between Fecal Transplant Donor & Recipient Captured in Video
BOCA RATON, FL - After years searching for the kind colon which gave her bowels a new lease on life, fecal transplant recipient Faye...
100,000,000 Miles Later: Santa Diagnosed with Acute Pulmonary Embolism
NORTH POLE - Santa pulled off another successful Christmas for children around the world but it has come with a cost: Earlier this morning,...
Practice Management Breakthrough: Hospitalist to Direct Admit Self to Own Service
SALEM, MA - A major breakthrough is heralded today in the field of hospital medicine that promises to solve the eternal problem of provider...
Bitcoin Users Infected with Cryptocurrency Meningitis
ATLANTA, GA - Over the past month, volatile swings in bitcoin have led to an ominous halving of its value, which has thrown investors...
COVID-19: ACGME Redeploys Interns to Check on Healthcare Workers’ Parents
CHICAGO, IL - The Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) announced that interns will no longer see patients not only to preserve personal...
Olympic Officials Apologize for Pools Filled with Blood
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Rio Olympic officials have once again apologized profusely for all of the Olympic swimming pools being filled with blood...
Wow, Hospitalist Appreciating the Hell Outta Everyone in Today’s Progress Note
DURHAM, NC - In a particularly thankful mood today, hospitalist Poonam Trivedi has really gone all out, appreciating the hell out of everyone today in her progress...