Hospitalists

Spa Offers ‘Ultimate Relaxation’ With 55-Minute Carotid Sinus Massage

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SANTA FE, MN - For guests who want to experience the ultimate in relaxation, the spa at the Inn of the Four Extremities is...
palliative care hot streak 35th straight patient

On a Hot Streak, Palliative Care Makes 35th Straight Patient DNR

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Displaying once again why they are the most dominant subspecialty at Los Angeles Medical Center (LAMC) right now, Palliative Care...

Hospitalist Spends Day After Christmas Returning Unwanted Admissions

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MORGANTON, NC - Like most people in America, Dr. Lara Nottarg got some things for Christmas that she didn’t exactly want. Unlike most Americans,...
abdominal pain

Hospitalist Becomes Own Endless Loop

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In a stunning procession of events, nocturnist Angus "Kilty" McSwagger became the only known hospitalist to experience the so-called "admission mirror paradox."  Long speculated...
Super Bowl party AMA Dilaudid

What, No Dilaudid?! Guests Leave Super Bowl Party AMA

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ATLANTA, GA - Stating that the party spread of salads, sandwiches, guacamole, cheese and pepperoni pizza, wings, burgers, hot dogs, and fried chicken simply...
MRI scanner claustrophobia

Cooped Up MRI Machine Requests Ativan for Claustrophobia

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LOS ANGELES, CA - An MRI scanner that has been cooped up in the radiology department at Olive View-UCLA Medical Center for the past...
surgical management

Ortho Consults Medicine for Surgical Management

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - In an act that most definitely crosses the line, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley has consulted Medicine for surgical management of a...
veterinarian

Veterinarian Turfs German Shepherd to Hospital Medicine

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Hospitalists at Minnesota Healthcare suffered one more devastating blow this morning as local veterinarian Tom Anderson turfed yet another animal, this...
nystatin statin

Dammit, It’s a Ruse! Nystatin Isn’t a Statin After All

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BETHESDA, MD - The medical world is at a loss for words after scientists at the National Institute of Health (NIH) dropped the megaton...

Surgeon General to Reverse Opioid Epidemic with Whopping Dose of Narcan

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has unveiled a new strategy against the nation's opioid epidemic, and it simply involves giving the...