Study: Titty Twist Better Pain Stimulus Than Sternal Rub
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Citing expert opinion and personal experience, the American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has put forth new recommendations on the pain stimulus - a technique used by health care providers to assess...
Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes
NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid of jerks and a**holes, a rare occurrence with an estimated...
Attending Known for Long ICU Rounds Admits She is Actually Just Filibustering Her Crappy...
At the Pannus University Hospital, there is one specific attending, who preferred to remain anonymous for this article, known for exquisitely long rounds. Every lab value must be read out loud. Every differential diagnosis...
New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for Prescribing Opioids for Chronic Pain," citing new data analysis from...
Hospitals Now Offering Seasonal Pumpkin-Spiced Patient Satisfaction Surveys
BOCA RATON, FL - Hospital administrators at Madre De Díos Medical Center will now offer seasonal pumpkin-spiced patient satisfaction surveys in order to improve survey response rates. "We are so excited to give a...
Dior’s New Yellow Isolation Ballroom Gowns are Stunning
PARIS, FRANCE - In breaking news that has the fashion industry stirring, designers at Christian Dior are bringing style back into isolation rooms by replacing the boxy and boring isolation gowns of old with...
Placement: A Hospitalist’s Perspective
By Hospitalist Dr. Eric O'Malley
Placement. I like placement. I like nursing home placement. I like rehab placement. I like acute rehab placement. I like subacute rehab placement. I like LTAC placement. So many placements....
Millennial Admitted to Hospital for ‘Fevers, Netflix & Chills’
BOCA RATON, FL - Yesterday evening, staff hospitalist Dr Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was called by the Madre De Díos Hospital ER to admit a patient with the chief complaints of "fevers, Netflix & chills." Karter Smith, age...
Cinnabon Creates New Insulin Rolls: Insulinabons
SEATTLE, WA - American purveyor of cinnamon rolls and diabetes, Cinnabon has announced a new tactic to combat the obesity epidemic, not by changing its recipe but by offering free insulin rolls instead. Cinnabon...
Patient Gives Hospital 1-Star Rating on TripAdvisor
LANGDON, ND – After a recent 43-day admission, local resident Sylvia McElroy reviewed her stay at Cavalier County Memorial Hospital with a disappointing 1-star rating on Trip Advisor®.
“Where do I begin? This place simply...
