Wednesday, June 16, 2021

Hospitalists

blood, pool

Olympic Officials Apologize for Pools Filled with Blood

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RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Rio Olympic officials have once again apologized profusely for all of the Olympic swimming pools being filled with blood this past week.  Officials have concluded that someone mistakenly added...

BREAKING: Figs Scrubs made DNR by Female DO Hospitalist

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Los Angeles, CA – After gradually wedging their way into the hearts and minds of healthcare professionals across the US and the world, Figs has been made DNR. The brand known for their...
signed off sign off

Jealous of All the Consultants Who Signed Off, Primary Team Decides to Sign Off...

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KNOXVILLE, TN - After numerous consultants signed off of the case due to the patient's improving clinical condition, the primary inpatient internal medicine team led by Carrie Ramirez was teeming with jealously, leading her...
nystatin statin

Dammit, It’s a Ruse! Nystatin Isn’t a Statin After All

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BETHESDA, MD - The medical world is at a loss for words after scientists at the National Institute of Health (NIH) dropped the megaton bombshell that nystatin isn't a real statin after all.  That's...
vancomycin and zosyn soup

Recipe: GomerBlog’s Chicken Noodle Soup with Vancomycin & Zosyn

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Ever wonder why chicken noodle soup is good for the soul?  It’s because your soul is severely infected and needs to be treated with broad-spectrum antibiotics.  Next time you’re not feeling well, use this...
palliative care hot streak 35th straight patient

On a Hot Streak, Palliative Care Makes 35th Straight Patient DNR

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Displaying once again why they are the most dominant subspecialty at Los Angeles Medical Center (LAMC) right now, Palliative Care has just extended their amazing streak again by...

Pros and Cons of a Hospitalist

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GomerBlog is taking an in-depth look at the pros and cons of many specialties.  The first is a hospitalist: See also: - Pros and Cons of a Stethoscope

Hospitalist Abusing Copy and Paste in Paper Charts

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CAPE COD, MA - A hospitalist at Cape Cod Medical Center, Dr. Chris Gallagher, has been under heavy scrutiny after being accused several weeks ago by his own hospital staff of abusing "copy and...
stethoscope fairy

Hospitalist Hopes Stethoscope Fairy Leaves Money Under Pillow

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ATLANTA, GA - Thinking he might get a fiver for it, hospitalist Jeff Rodgers placed his broken stethoscope under the pillow before going to bed last night in the hopes the stethoscope fairy might...