Wednesday, June 16, 2021

Hospitalists

G-tube G-spot

The Difference Between A G-Tube & The G-Spot

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GomerBlog returns to help distinguish between two similar but often confused entities. The "G" in G-tube refers to "gastric" or "gastrostomy." A G-tube is a type of feeding...
placement medicine

‘Hospital Medicine’ Renamed ‘Placement Medicine’

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Society of Hospital Medicine (SHM) has announced that effective January 1, 2017, the specialty known as Hospital Medicine will be renamed Placement Medicine in order to best reflect current practices.  The...
hospitalist

Hospitalist Has Turned On ‘Out of Office’ Reply Permanently

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HARTFORD, CT - Dr. Paul Tanzwicki, a new hospitalist at Upper West Medical Center, was excited to turn his out of office reply on his email. “I worked as a primary care doctor and internist...

To Capture More Cardiology Viewers, Jake Tapper Renames Show to “The 12-Lead”

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ATLANTA, GA - In an attempt to attract a higher percentage of the much-desired cardiology demographic, producers and the host of "The Lead" Jake Tapper have renamed their CNN newscast to "The 12-Lead." "Viewership among cardiologists and...

Trump Unites Us All with Plan to Build Wall Around Hospitals, Prevent Admissions

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CLEVELAND, OH - In front of supporters at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump has unified not only the Republican Party but also Americans, in particular health care providers, as he announced his plan...

CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby explaining a centuries-old mystery of why patients have not taken...

Nurse Enters the Cave of Wonders, Finds Infamous Resident Genie

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On her Saturday shift, Anne looked unusually ecstatic.  This is the same Anne who usually has a frown on her face and is looking for reasons to tear the medical students and residents apart....
wishbone

Ortho Consulted to Repair Broken Wishbone

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NASHVILLE, TN - Orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley was consulted last night after the wishbone of an 18-lb. turkey was shattered by two members of the James family during Thanksgiving dinner. "This makes me so angry," said...
"Mostly useless!" credentialing process

Transfer Records Lacking Hundreds of Useless Pages

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – Dr. Rajiv Katar, a physician at Philadelphia General Hospital, was astonished on Friday to receive transfer records that included a discharge summary – and only that – lacking the usual several-hundred-page...

Fifth Pressor Discovered: ICU Stay Extended 2 Days, No Difference in Outcome

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LOS ANGELES, CA – Critical care physicians and nurses rejoiced Thursday at the news of a 5th vasopressor drug-class discovery. 5-omega-dopanephrinone or "Omnipress" is a new vasopressor recently fast tracked by the FDA overnight.  "It...