Thursday, April 25, 2024

Hospitalists

signed off sign off

Jealous of All the Consultants Who Signed Off, Primary Team Decides to Sign Off...

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KNOXVILLE, TN - After numerous consultants signed off of the case due to the patient's improving clinical condition, the primary inpatient internal medicine team led by Carrie Ramirez was teeming with jealously, leading her...
Iron Man hemochromatosis

Breaking: Iron Man Diagnosed with Hemochromatosis

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NEW YORK, NY - After his primary care physician insist he undergo several tests over the past month to uncover the cause of his abnormal liver function tests (LFTs), Iron Man has unfortunately been...
older patient sundowning

Combative Little Old Lady Requires Record-Breaking 11-to-1 Sitter

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SEATTLE, WA - Looks can be deceiving.  87-year-old Marsha Lynch may look like a lovely little old lady, but when she sundowns, she’s one doozy of a patient.  Lynch has earned the nickname “Beast...
moon placement

Placement Tips: How to Place a Patient on the Moon

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If there's something social workers and hospitalists are really good at it's placement.  But every once in a while a difficult placement comes along.  In today's post, we walk through one of these scenarios:...

Video: 10/10 Abdominal Pain While Eating Doritos & Talking on Her Cell Phone

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We sat down with Dr. Gomez, a doctor who treated a patient with 10/10 abdominal pain while eating Doritos and talking on her cell phone. He tells the story of what was going on....
acid-base disorders

Study Concludes That Anyone Who Understands Acid-Base is a Big, Fat Liar

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BOSTON, MA - A landmark study in the latest issue of the Old England Journal of Medicine (OEJM) concluded "beyond a shadow of a doubt" that anyone who claims to understand acid-base...

CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby explaining a centuries-old mystery of why patients have not taken...
paddles for defibrillation

Hospitalist Administering CPR Interrupted With STAT Coding Query

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BOCA RATON, FL - Area hospitalist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was running a code on a pulseless patient when he received an emergent coding query on his cell phone. Gomerblog has obtained an official transcript of...
social worker

Medical Clinical Social Worker Treats Hospitalist Breakdown, Early Stages

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Attempting to leave on time for the first time in two years, Jen was on her way towards the elevators before noticing Carol, a dedicated hospitalist talking to her...
doctor calling consult

Area Doctor Now Apologizes Before Every Consult

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MARKERSBURG, TN - Dr. Lois Siento thinks she has the key to improving relationships between primary teams and consultants. "It's simple," she explains. "We give consultant business. Consultants like to get cases from us that...