Tuesday, April 16, 2024

Infectious Disease

Interventional Radiology Performs CT-Guided Chart Biopsy

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RICHMOND, VA - History was made yesterday at Richmond Medical Center, as an interventional radiology (IR) team led by Dr. John Johnston-Johnson performed the world’s first successful CT-guided chart biopsy. “Words cannot express this moment,”...
vaccination

Breaking: Reports Emerge About An Uneventful MMR Vaccination

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ROCHESTER, NY - In what was internationally hailed as a medical first, doctors at Mount Saint Mary Mercy Hospital announced they are confident a child has survived the measles, mumps, rubella (MMR) vaccine without...

Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean

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Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life in the hospital, Livin La Vida Locum, M.D. shares the...

Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult

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If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked.  It is the end of the day and all you want to do is go home but where...

CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby explaining a centuries-old mystery of why patients have not taken...

Nursing Student Enters OR Without Shoe Covers: Beatings Commence

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WARWICK, RI - The student nurse stared nervously at the blood-red line bisecting the hallway.  Scrub hat and surgical mask, check.  Full breakfast and adequate hydration to prevent passing out and taking a bite...

Traffic Not Only Causes Stress, It Causes Syphilis Too

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STUCK IN THE MIDDLE LANE (STILL), INTERSTATE 85 SOUTH, ATLANTA, GA - Traffic jams are modern transit’s strokes.  At rush hour or any hour in cities like Atlanta or Los Angeles, a plaque of construction...

Tips: How to Keep Your Necktie Nice & Colonized‏

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So who doesn’t love neckties?  Not only do they strangle your windpipe, but they also spread disease with reckless abandon.  Cheers to that!  Here are some of our favorite ways at GomerBlog to help...
anthrax-metal

ID Fellow Demanding CME Reimbursement for Anthrax Concert Ticket

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NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Michael Dante, a first-year infectious diseases (ID) fellow at Bellevue Hospital has recently received devastating news from the Continuing Medical Education (CME) administrator of his fellowship program.  Per the...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

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ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the conversation about 'safe' vaccines."  De Niro claims that we should have...