Internal Medicine

Hospitalists Panic, Ortho Continues Home Medications Without Consultation

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KEARNEY, NE - The wave of worry spread quickly across the hospitalist community after Dr. Zimmer Strykerton, a local orthopedist, not only admitted a...

CDC Warning: Dangerous “Dry Humping” Bug Found in Lower U.S.

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has identified a new insect vector that is rampantly spreading disease in the southern portions...
Chipotle

Study Finds Majority of Americans Would Rather Die of E. coli Than Not Eat...

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DENVER, CO – According to a study released last Saturday by University of Colorado sociologist Dr. Prestin Wheats, the majority of Americans are unfazed...
emergency medicine physician

Breaking: Admitting Service Forgets to Ask ED Physician, “What Do You Expect Me to...

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JACKSON, MI – In a stunning display of forgetfulness, the admitting hospitalist at Mercy Hospital has forgotten to snarkily reply to an admission request...

Massachusetts ICU Nurse Wins Powerball, Uses Patient’s Vital Signs as Lucky Numbers

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CAMBRIDGE, MA - Local ICU nurse Debbie Watson called in rich this morning after winning the historic Powerball. When nobody claimed a the Powerball winnings...
state of medicine

Highlights From The 2016 State of The Medicine Address

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GomerBlog highlights the major points from tonight’s State of The Medicine Address given by the President of Hospital Administrators, Mr. Cutter Salary. Hospitals now...
powerball

Hoping for a Powerball Miracle, Healthcare Providers Across America Drafting Resignation Letters

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EVERY CLINICAL SETTING, UNITED STATES - Healthcare providers across the United States are hoping it’s an early holiday present in 2016, as every single one...
chemist

Brilliant Chemist Gives up Dream of Curing Cancer, Focuses Efforts on Inducing 3 ½...

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CAMBRIDGE, MA - Citing practical reasons, 41-year-old renowned chemist and laboratory researcher Charles Kenzington, Ph.D. has formally ended his three-decade quest to discover a...

With No Mega Millions Winner, Millions of Healthcare Professionals Begrudgingly Show Up to Work

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CHICAGO, IL - Many, if not every single health care professional, woke up this morning before heading to work and checked to see if...
smoking lounge

Hospital Opens Smoker’s Lounge for Patients

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CHICAGO, IL - Lord Have Mercy Hospital has taken patient satisfaction to a whole new level by recently opening a “Smoker’s Lounge” for its...