Covid-19: Newly Released “Contagion 2” Gives People Much-Needed Escape from Reality
HOLLYWOOD, CA—Understanding that Americans desperately need an escape from the non-stop, grim Covid-19 news, Steven Soderbergh, who directed the very popular 2011 original, announced the surprise release of “Contagion 2: Holy Crap, We’re All...
CDC Recommends Against HIV, Infections in General
ATLANTA, GA - In a statement earlier today, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has recommended against the human immunodeficiency virus (or HIV). As spokesperson for the CDC Felicia Adams explained, "Look,...
COVID-19: Lady Liberty Shelters in Place on Liberty Island
NEW YORK, NY - Heeding the warnings of local public health officials regarding pandemic COVID-19, the Statue of Liberty will shelter in place on Liberty Island for the indefinite future.
Tired of Its Advice Being Ignored, CDC Kicks America Out of Its Practice
ATLANTA, GA—Frustrated that no one is listening to their Covid-19 recommendations, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) announced today that it had no choice but to kick the American public out of...
Clinic Handing Out Free Organ Samples
OXFORD, MS - Remember the good old days when you could get free drug samples from your doctor? Well, clinicians at Mississippi Health do. They’re trying to bring back some of the charm of...
Ode to Thyroid: Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride
Listen
I have to confess
I have not been appreciative of you
You give and you give and you give
But you also know when to pull back
You keep me from being a fat tired constipated mess
You don’t...
Intern Singing Bee Gees During Code
What began as a routine code on the dialysis unit turned euphonic this past Wednesday morning after new intern Rob Eide began audibly singing 'Staying Alive' by the Bee Gees while administering chest compressions.
"At...
Orthopaedic Surgeon Spends Hours Wandering ICU Bathroom Looking for Pulmonary Toilet
NEW YORK, NY - When COVID-19 cases in Manhattan started ramping up, local orthopaedic surgeon Brock Hammersley knew he wanted to help however he could.
Physician is Such a Gunner, Writes Two Notes on Same Patient in One Day
ATLANTA, GA - In a striking development last night at Georgia Medical Center (GMC), internal medicine physician Craig Kellerman wrote two notes on the same patient in the same day, an unheard of feat...
Yiddish to Be Introduced Into Official Medical Terminology
PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Language Council of Hospitals and Institutions of Medicine (LCHAIM) announced yesterday that a number of commonly used Yiddish terms have been approved as acceptable medical terminology. This practice, already commonplace...
