Saturday, August 15, 2020

Internal Medicine

lab tests

Local Woman: ‘I Need All My Labs Drawn’

EAST LANSING, MI – Local patient Sheryl Harris came to clinic today with a chief complaint of "I need all my labs drawn." When questioned what specific labs she was referring to, she responded, "All...

Academy Awards (Medical Edition) Categories Announced: Doctors, Patients to Be Nominated

PENSACOLA, FL - Buzz is building in doctors' lounges and waiting rooms across the nation, in reaction to last week's release of the Academy Awards (Medical Edition) categories.  Of special note, this year will be...
IV catheter

Acute GI Bleed ER Patient Admitted to ICU with One 22g IV Dangling in...

CLEVELAND, OH – Initial news feeds are reporting that an acute GI bleed patient is being transferred up from the ER to the ICU within the next 10 minutes.  Report was called and mentioned...

ICD-10 Already Being Updated to ICD-10.2 in 2014

WASHINGTON, DC - The much anticipated ICD-10 implementation in October 2014 will have new competition.  Even before the official release of ICD-10, the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD) is...

Patient with High Pain Tolerance, Surprisingly… In Pain

LANCASTER, IL – Local resident, Shirley Homes, came to St. Joe’s Emergency Room with a shocking complaint: she was in pain.  This emergency pain occurring to Ms. Homes has been reoccurring for the past...

Man ‘Accidentally Falls’ on Gerbil That Ran Through Lube

MEMPHIS, TN – A local resident presented to the emergency room with an unusual complaint this evening.  Chief complaint: "My bottom really hurts." At first he was reluctant to say anything.  "He told me his bottom hurt,"...
empathy medical robot

Hospital to Employ Empathy Robots to Allow Nurses and Doctors to Chart

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Tired of being treated like a number at big hospitals?  Mercy Hospital in San Francisco wants to change that and they think they have the answer.  “Here at Mercy Hospital, we...

Brave Campaign Bars Zombies from the ICU

PARMA, OH - It all started when an episode of AMC's The Walking Dead played on the TV in the ICU family lounge.  Within minutes, patient family members with power of attorney rights signed hospice and...

STDs Running Rampant in Sochi Olympic Village

SOCHI, RUSSIA – Apparently what happens in Sochi doesn’t always stay there.  Olympic athletes have been going at it strong and GomerBlog is sad to report that there are now numerous outbreaks of sexually...

Patient Care During Super Bowl Nears “Total Neglect” Status

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – "Don’t get sick during the Super Bowl" was the overwhelming response put out the Joint Commission today.  New studies just released by The Lancet indicate that patient care nears "total neglect" status...