God Postpones Miracle Due to Slightly High INR of 1.6
HEAVEN ABOVE - God, Creator of the Universe, has decided to postpone His plans for a miracle today after morning labs revealed an elevated INR of 1.6, Gomerblog reports.
"He can eat," God reluctantly told...
On a Hot Streak, Palliative Care Makes 35th Straight Patient DNR
LOS ANGELES, CA - Displaying once again why they are the most dominant subspecialty at Los Angeles Medical Center (LAMC) right now, Palliative Care has just extended their amazing streak again by making their...
Black Cloud Begs On-Call Meteorologist for Help
NEW HAVEN, CT - Finding herself underdressed & underprepared for this torrential downpour of admissions and cross-cover calls, third-year medicine resident and self-diagnosed black cloud Nirali Patel is now begging the on-call meteorologist for...
Pharmacists Reassure Worried Public They’ll Never Run Out of GoLytely
BRAINTREE, MA—From antibiotics to analgesics and anesthetics to ACLS drugs, there is an underreported epidemic of drug shortages in America. With over 140 vital drugs currently in short supply, the health of patients is...
Breaking: Standardized Patient Leaves AMA
TALLAHASSEE, FL - Standardized patient Lily Huron has left against medical advice (AMA) once she game to grips that none of these medical students would cave in and give her IV Dilaudid, Gomerblog reports....
Clutch: Resident Places A-Line Into Circle of Willis
ATLANTA, GA - In the same way patients can be progressively difficult sticks from the venous standpoint, the same holds true for their arteries. Thankfully one determined ICU resident didn't let this stop...
Red Sharps Containers Replaced by Magic Sword Boxes
MAGIC CITY, ID—If you’ve been at Magic City Medical Center recently, you may have noticed that those iconic red sharps containers that used to hang on the walls have been replaced by magic sword...
Electronic Prescriptions Now Available in Illegible Doctors’ Font
WASHINGTON, DC—Pharmacists beware! The newest Electronic Health Record/e-Prescribing systems are being programmed to send out prescriptions written in an illegible “doctors’ handwriting” font. Called Hell-vetica (or Hell-to-read-vetica), the new font is officially described as...
That’s So Mean: Hospital Kitchen Sends NPO Patients Empty Tray
North Portland, Oregon—The defiance of an NPO order, whether intentional or accidental, may have profound consequences, including worsening of symptoms and delay of surgical procedures. In many of theses cases, the patients simply had...
ID to Prescribe Way More Vanc & Zosyn in 2020
ARLINGTON, VA - Gomerblog is thrilled to report that the Infectious Diseases Society of America (IDSA) has officially revealed their New Year's Resolution, and it is to prescribe way more vancomycin & Zosyn (piperacillin-tazobactam)...