PICU Nurse Enjoys Changing Patient Parameters and Drips Right Before Interns Present Patients on...
SEATTLE, WA - In an exclusive interview with Nursing magazine, Martha Stevens, a prominent pediatric intensive care unit (PICU) nurse at Children’s Hospital admitted that she loves to mess with new medical interns, especially ones she...
New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status
ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). Basic Life Support (BLS) and Advanced Cardiac Life Support (ACLS) classes will...
Local Man with Chest Pain Takes Care of Stuff First
CLEVELAND, OH – Don Hetfield came into St. Joe’s emergency room on Friday with chest pain, arm pain, and “I just can’t stop sweating.” When the EKG tech obtained the print out, she rushed it...
New Female Libido Pill to Hit Shelves
ATLANTA, GA - A new female libido pill is expected to hit shelves this week called Pamper. The pill is designed to put that flame back in the bedroom, but the way it works may...
Fentanyl Lollipops Abused, Authorities Perplexed
WASHINGTON, DC - The Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) are absolutely baffled to hear about recent allegations of abuse with fentanyl lollipops. Apparently the rising abuse has caught...
Goop from ER Break Room Becomes Sentient, Asks for Dilaudid
DALLAS, TX - In an amazing breakthrough for science, a new life form has spontaneously willed itself into existence in the break room of a local emergency room (ER). Not only this, but despite its...
Twas the Night Before Christmas in the ED
Twas the night before Christmas, the ED was quiet,
Not a creature was stirring, there wasn’t even a riot.
The patients slept soundly, so snug in their cots,
With some having dreams of free...
Secret Location of Nurse Float Pool Discovered, Drained
BREAKING NEWS - For years large hospitals have used nurse float pools - a team of nurses able to work in multiple specialties and units during shortages or call-offs. Archeological evidence near the grave of...
Inventor of Slogan ‘Pain is the 5th Vital Sign’ Now Concedes Pain is Actually...
NEW YORK, NY - Last night, in an emotional interview with Dateline NBC, Lisa Washington, who famously coined the term "Pain is the 5th Vital Sign," conceded that pain is actually not a vital sign.
A...
Joint Commission Requires More Name Tag Bracelets for Sicker Patients
PHOENIX, AZ - In an effort to improve patient safety, the Joint Commission (JC) has recommended that sicker ICU patients should have multiple nametag bracelets to help identify patients better. Apparently, there is a growing trend...
