Thursday, June 4, 2020

Internal Medicine

‘Real World Medical School’ Canceled After One Episode

SAN JOSE, CA - The Real World Medical School was immediately canceled by NBC after the first episode last night.  "Absolutely nothing exciting happened," said viewer Stacy Henderson. John went to the library and studied for...

Carinii Sues Pneumocystis for Alimony After He Runs Away with His Secretary Jirovecii

MALIBU, CA – GomerBlog recently came across a public filing Thursday that had shocking implications.  Carinii, long known to be the partner of Pneumocystis, has filed suit against him claiming that he has been...

Gastroenterologist Discovers Advanced Colonoscopy Technique, Twerk Position, While Working on Miley Cyrus

ANAHEIM, CA - Dr. Dan Abernath, known as the gastroenterologist to the stars, submitted a paper to Gastroenterology, describing a new advanced colonoscopy technique for difficult cases.  While scoping the now world famous "twerker,"...

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Dreams of Becoming Hollywood Star

NEW YORK, NY - Prominent cardiothoracic surgeon Dr. Dale Enderwood had "an amazing dream" last night and he woke up wishing he could return to that dream. What’s this amazing dream you may ask?  Well, it just may...
Chart of Death

Coroner Cause of Death: ‘Physical Therapy Note Missing Date and Time’

ALBUQUERQUE, NM - GomerBlog regretfully reports on a hospital death that could have been saved if the physical therapy note was dated and timed appropriately.  Beau Thorsgood, Albuquerque’s coroner, told reporters this morning that...

Doctor Sees Patient Outside of Clinic

CHICAGO, IL - Dr. Wilkenson shared an elevator with one of his patients Wednesday.  “Diane.”  He said nodding his head.  “How’s the...”  He paused and realized he really didn’t know anything that was Health...

Friday ‘Dump Job’ Ends Back on Hospitalist

PORTLAND, MA – Hospitalist Dr. Doug Moore was trying to plan ahead for his upcoming weekend.  He knew he had to take Ms. Williams off his list to have a completely free weekend.  Dr. Moore tried...

Insomniac Cured After One Question, Wonders Why He Didn’t Think of It Before

BISMARCK, ND - In an unprecedented success story, patient Igor Soapen has finally been relieved of the insomnia that plagued his life.  And he has Dr. Orcutt to thank for it. “I had insomnia for...

Local Physician Brings Daughter to Work, Helps Tell Patients They Are Overweight

HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Chris Zanick, a primary care physician, has been struggling to talk to his patients about being overweight.  He solved this problem recently when he got an idea from an outing at...

Resident Fails Rotation for Forgetting to Place TPN Orders by 10 AM

MIAMI, FL - Mercy Hospital made a decision to fail Dr. Andy Oppenheimer yesterday after he once again forgot to put total parenteral nutrition (TPN) orders in by 10 AM.  The parenteral nutrition patients on his...