Internal Medicine

DIY Furniture Assembly Stress Test Validated in Landmark Trial

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PERTH, WESTERN AUSTRALIA - Researchers at the Outback University Hospital have presented data from their landmark DIY-IKEA trial this week, illustrating the benefit of building DIY home furniture as a novel cardiac stress test. The...
bone marrow

A for Effort: Med Student Palpates Patient’s Bone Marrow

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NASHVILLE, TN - In an effort to both better improve her physical exam skills and understand the etiology of pancytopenia, third-year Vanderbilt medical student Marianne Cash spent the better part of this morning palpating...

Mother of Local Teen Decides to Go For It: Make Physical Exam as Uncomfortable...

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WESTCHESTER, NY - Local mother and divorcee Tiffany Smith accompanied her 18 year old daughter Kaycie Smith into the exam room, clinic staff confirmed. Kaycie, who currently lives with her father in Armonk, stated the...
incentive spirometer incentivized spirometer

A Step-by-Step Guide on How to Use Incentive Spirometers (or Marijuana)

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Is this your first time using an incentive spirometer (or marijuana)?  Well, you're in luck: our Gomerblog team has created this easy 15-step process to using your incentive spirometer (or weed).  Don't be intimidated,...
hospitalist

Nocturnist Found Answering Phone Call Without Passive Aggressive Feelings

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NEW YORK, NY – In an incident of astoundingly good professional behavior, a nocturnist in Titmouse County Hospital, NY was found answering a phone call without any trace of passive-aggressive tone in his voice. The...
Cheetos

Too Many Cheetos: Patient with Rare Case of Orange Poop

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BOSTON, MA - Bright red blood per rectum suggests active gastrointestinal (GI) bleeding, and black tarry stool suggests a brisk upper GI bleed.  But what about orange stool?  A rare case report published in...
hospital specials

Commotion in the Hospital Cafeteria After Healthy Menu Installed

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LOS ANGELES, CA - A pediatric hospital has come under fire after revamping their inpatient food services menu. The director of nutrition at Coastline Health Systems, Mr. Robert Orexin, announced last Monday that the...
sleeping patient

New Algorithm for Waking Patients During Morning Pre-Rounding Released

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In an effort to standardize the act of waking up patients in the morning during pre-rounding, the CDC has just released a universal algorithm for use in American hospitals. “It’s long been known that it...