Latest Research Suggests That a Nice Family Prognosticates Mortality in the Intensive Care Unit
ABSTRACT
Background
A group of 1594 (667 were excluded for lack of relative personality traits) patients in a large metropolitan hospital were enrolled in a research...
Local Hospitalist Accidentally Writes Best-Selling Fantasy Novel While Trying to Change EMR Password
DETROIT, MI - Just last week, local hospitalist Dr. Blake Harrison came across a scenario that seems to happen every 20 minutes these days:...
Need to Renew Your ACLS? New Interactive Code Blue Simulator, ‘Resusci-A**hole,’ Yells Obscenities...
It’s that time again. Time for you to buck up and go get your ACLS renewed before it expires. Everyone knows that after a...
Middle School Dance Put on Contact Precautions
Following the shocking display of "grinding" at last Fall's Homecoming dance, local Gandy Middle School PTA President, Karen Sterling, pushed to prophylactically put the...
Curious Med Student Smells Finger After Digital Rectal Exam
BOSTON, MA – At the nation’s most prestigious medical school, Harvard Medical School, students were taught how to perform a digital rectal examination (DRE)...
Everyone, We Mean EVERYONE, Bored at Tumor Board
BALTIMORE, MD - With each additional minute that Dr. Parathyrus struggled to log into PACS, the feeling of lethargy in the room became more...
Off-Service Intern Writes Pulitzer Prize Winning Provider Note While EM Resident Sees Thirty Patients
“I just want to get the voice right,” said brand-new internal medicine resident Dr. Joseph Green. “Like, I want to paint a picture of...
Not Quite: Intern Claims Champagne Tap After Sticking Bottle of Moët & Chandon
BOSTON, MA - An intern’s initial excitement was quickly reeled in after his team pointed out that sticking a spinal needle through cork of...
Sundowning to be Referred to as Moonupping from Hereonin
LOS ANGELES, CA - The American Academy of Naming Medical Things (AANMT) has issued a mandated that sundowning will now be referred to as...
In Response to High Demand, Ensure Now Available in Keg Form
LAKE BLUFF, IL - You spoke and they listened: Abbott Laboratories, maker of nutritional supplements, has announced that their product Ensure is now available...