Practice Management Breakthrough: Hospitalist to Direct Admit Self to Own Service
SALEM, MA - A major breakthrough is heralded today in the field of hospital medicine that promises to solve the eternal problem of provider fatigue while at the same time increasing hospital production. Sandy...
Patient Dissatisfied with Noise Level of Code Blue
ANN ARBOR, MI – Following a prolonged code of her roommate, 46-year-old patient Karen Evans ranked her overall patient care experience as “below average.”
On her Patient-Centered Experience survey, Ms. Evans noted that not a...
Patient’s Chronic Back Pain Due to Carrying MRI Report to Appointments
TULSA, OK - Mimi Goodburger has had low back pain for several years. It all started when she slipped on a spilled Frosty walking out of the bathroom at a local Wendy's.
"After I slipped...
Breaking: Virgin Airlines Diagnosed with Chlamydia
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) is scrambling after Virgin Airlines dropped a bombshell at a press conference earlier this morning revealing that it has been diagnosed with Chlamydia. Chlamydia is the most...
New AHA Hypertension Practice Guidelines: A Resident’s Personal Struggle on Night Float
The American Heart Association 2017 Hypertension Practice Guidelines has just recently come out with new guidelines, changing the standard definition of hypertension from 140/90 to 130/80. Per a recent news article, nearly 100 million...
ER Refuses to End Hospital Shutdown Until IM Agrees to Admit All Drunks
NEW ORLEANS, LA – Tulane Medical Center has shut down the hospital after negotiations between the Emergency Room (ER) and Internal Medicine (IM) failed to reach an agreement on admission criteria before midnight.
The core...
Neurologist Wondering Where She Put Her Tuning Spoon & Tuning Knife
DURHAM, NC - This past November, neurologist Adrianna Phelps was forced to improvise and use a tuning fork to eat her Caesar salad. Ever since that fateful day, Phelps can't help but wonder where...
Bitcoin Users Infected with Cryptocurrency Meningitis
ATLANTA, GA - Over the past month, volatile swings in bitcoin have led to an ominous halving of its value, which has thrown investors into a panic. Today digital currency and its faithful followers...
Medical Device Company to Debut Sitbit
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Medical device company Pulsa Tech is unveiling the new Sitbit this week. Similar to its popular predecessor the Fitbit and Sh*tbit, Sitbit is a stylish, smart wristband meant to be worn...
Cooped Up MRI Machine Requests Ativan for Claustrophobia
LOS ANGELES, CA - An MRI scanner that has been cooped up in the radiology department at Olive View-UCLA Medical Center for the past 5 years without seeing the light of day has reached...