Hospital Audited for Not Inputting Patient Height into EMR During Code
LAS CRUCES, NM - Red Rock Hospital recently came under fire when one of their resident physicians neglected to input a patient’s height during a code.
“I don’t know what came over me,” stated Michael Dodge,...
Cafeteria’s Salmonella Special Particularly Tasty Today
MIAMI, FL - Staff at Miami Medical Center are impressed with the hospital cafeteria's offerings today, which include the usual stalwarts like the Burnt Bad Burger, the Veggie Vomit Burger, and Meat of Unknown...
Grey’s Anatomy Removes New Actor Mehmet Oz From Show Because He Has the Same...
LOS ANGELES, CA - The producers for the hit TV medical drama Grey's Anatomy announced today they're removing a new character because the actor's name is the same as disgraced TV cardiothoracic surgeon turned...
Med Student Mistakes Dialysis Machine for ATM Machine
NASHVILLE, TN - As much as they wanted to help out third-year medical student Erin Sperling, the staff of the dialysis unit at Vanderbilt University Medical Center just didn't have the heart to tell...
Gastroenterologist Explains Coffee-Pooping Connection
POOPOO, HI - The link between morning coffee consumption and bowel movements has been well known throughout history. Even medieval Starbucks had chamber pots for customers with more robust reactions than average to their charred...
Patient Admitted with Life-Threatening Butthurt Exacerbation
CHICAGO, IL - "Move people, this guy's crashing!" EMTs yelled, asking everyone to get out of their way as they aggressively carried 33-year-old Alexander Touchy-Feely into one of the trauma rooms so treatment could...
Family Who Changed Your Diapers Will Never Listen To Your Medical Advice
BOCA RATON, FL -- A new study has revealed results which come as absolutely no surprise to anybody who works in healthcare: 100% of family members who ever changed your diapers when you were...
Doctor’s Necktie Colonized with MRSA, Tarantulas, Ticks, Mosquitoes
PORTLAND, ME - Internist Dr. Jeffrey Redd thinks it "unprofessional not to wear a tie" even despite the feedback from multiple patients, families, nurses, doctors, infectious diseases specialists, public health officials, and administrators that...
Family Physician Leaves Medical Practice to Work in an Auto Shop
If your doctor worked at the local auto shop, this is the kind of note s/he would write after looking at your car:
Chief Complaint:
"Hard to start"
History of Present Issue:
Dart is a 46-year-old green Dodge...
Coerced by Lasso of Truth, Wonder Woman Gets Patient to Admit Pain Only 2...
THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman overheard a strange patient describing his pain as "20 out of 10." Seeking justice and finally safe from an ER bolus of admissions that put her Bracelets of Submission to...