Staying True to Their Identity, Chipotle Launches New Foodborne-Illness Menu
DENVER, CO - Chipotle admittedly had a rough 2016 but was surprised to see its customers stay loyal to the brand. Realizing they can...
New Journal of Negative Studies Announced
BOSTON, MA - The medical community is abuzz today with the announcement of the new Journal of Negative Studies. The journal, which will focus...
Nation’s Arteries Brace for Impact of Chipotle’s New Queso
SACRAMENTO, CA – Speaking at a press conference last Saturday, a local left renal artery expressed “grave concern” amongst itself and the billions of...
The Michael Jordan of Interns Retires After Curing His 6th Patient
CLEVELAND, OH - We all know Dr. Mark Jeffries by now. He is the Michael Jordan of interns. Setting records by storm, Jeffries has set the...
Intern Has Mild Troponin Bump Over Patient’s Mild Troponin Bump
NASHVILLE, TN - After seeing her patient with chest pain develop a mild troponin bump up to 0.25 on this morning's set of labs,...
Cardiologist Excited to Cath Winner of Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest
CONEY ISLAND, NY - Less than 24 hours away from the annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest on the Coney Island boardwalk, Mount Sinai...
Musical Endotracheal Tubes Brighten Up ICU
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Intensive care units (ICU) are notoriously grim environments, filled with scenes of grief and worry. But thanks to a new...
Intern Put Into Timeout Cage to Think About What She Did
EL PASO, TX - New medical intern Lilah Pepper was placed into a timeout cage by her team on rounds earlier today as punishment,...
July Intern Really Excited to Cause His Very First Pneumothorax
ATLANTA, GA - Sometimes getting thrown into the fire is the best way to learn. At least that's what July intern Timothy McDuffy thinks....
Fecal Transplant Donations Skyrocket Thanks to Terrified Day 1 Interns
COLUMBUS, OH - One local hospital’s fecal transplant donation bank is filled to the brim thanks to the groundswell of newly-minted interns on their first...