Internal Medicine

heparin bridge

Atlanta Uses Heparin Bridge for Collapsed, Subtherapeutic Part of I-85

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ATLANTA, GA - Nearly 24 hours after a massive fire engulfed and collapsed a section of I-85 Northbound near Piedmont Road, rendering it subtherapeutic and forcing Governor Nathan Deal to declare a state of emergency,...
favorite sleeping positions

Which is Your Favorite Position to Guarantee a Good Night’s Sleep?

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As for us at Gomerblog, it's split between the standing and knee-chest positions.  That's like choosing which twin you love!  In our opinion, there's something about the cool breeze teasing your anal sphincter that...
surgical management

Ortho Consults Medicine for Surgical Management

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - In an act that most definitely crosses the line, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley has consulted Medicine for surgical management of a comminuted left femoral neck fracture. "The way I see it, Medicine...
When I was an intern

Breaking News: Internal Medicine Attending is “Old as F**k”

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Gomerblog has been alerted by several concerned nurses and medicine residents to the appearance of an ancient bent-out-of-shape internal medicine attending who can best be described as "old as f**k."  By...
Arrival heptopods orthopods Louise Banks

‘Arrival’ Heroine, Dr. Louise Banks, Tries to Decipher Wordless Language of Orthopods

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MONTANA - After playing a critical role in deciphering the language of the alien squid-like heptopods as chronicled in last year's real-life documentary Arrival, world-renowned linguist and heroine Dr. Louise Banks takes on her...
Lumbar Puncture LP Spinal Tap

Two Examples of Amazingly Subpar Lumbar Puncture Procedure Notes

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Amazingly Subpar Lumbar Puncture Procedure Note #1 Procedure: This is Spinal Tap. Date/Time: Optional. Indication: Infectious Diseases said it was a good idea. Resident: Dr. Kyle Richter, PGY-1. Attending: Yes. A time-out was completed to verify the correct patient, procedure, and when the cafeteria closes. ...
surgeon biopsy malignant fusion

Residency Program Biopsied, Found to Be Malignant

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BOSTON, MA - After undergoing biopsy last week at the insistence of several concerned fourth-year medical students who matched at its program, Pathology has just finalized its report, declaring that the Internal Medicine Residency...
obs observation unit

Patient Transferred from Observation Unit to Intervention Unit

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Physician assistant (PA) Iris Jones thought it was just another day in the Observation Unit or Obs Unit.  She made her rounds and did what she was asked to do...
medicine abbreviations

Ophtho’s Guide to Internal Medicine Abbreviations

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Not long ago we asked our Medicine colleagues to help us learn about ophtho abbreviations, which we did.  Time to reverse the roles: Gomerblog asked Ophthalmology to help us decipher Medicine abbreviations, and they...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Licking Eyeballs

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ATLANTA, GA - Say it isn't so!  The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has just announced that it cannot and will not recommend against the licking of eyeballs, thus delivering a devastating...