Saturday, September 26, 2020
medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Medical Student Spotted at Undergraduate Library, Again

BURLINGTON, VT – University of Vermont first-year medical student, Eugene Simmond, was seen again trolling the halls of the undergraduate library on Thursday afternoon.  This was the fifth spotting in just a week, and to...
medical consult

What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 1

Initial consult notes usually end with the following line: Thank you for the interesting consult.  What does that really mean?  In the first of a two-part series, our GomerBlog translators will help break down...

Local Medical Student Struggles to Explain His Eagerness to Place Foley Catheter on Male...

ANN ARBOR, MI - Local medical student Dan S. started his first rotation today in Surgery.  “I woke up at 2:45 am arrived at the hospital about 3:10 am and I was able to...

Student Taking the MCAT Fails After Saving Proctor

PHILADELPHIA, PA – An unbelievable event occurred yesterday afternoon in the Prometric MCAT computer testing center.  A proctor at the testing site suddenly collapsed in the testing room during the MCAT administration. Jeremy Towlins, a...

‘Real World Medical School’ Canceled After One Episode

SAN JOSE, CA - The Real World Medical School was immediately canceled by NBC after the first episode last night.  "Absolutely nothing exciting happened," said viewer Stacy Henderson. John went to the library and studied for...

The Tale of the Enema and the Trailing Zero Error

LUBBOCK, TX - The Institute of Medicine in 1999 shocked the world when they reported that up to 100,00 persons die each year due to medical errors.  Medical practices were changed and procedures modified...
medical student menu

Medical Student Paged ‘Stat’ for Fecal Disimpaction Case

PHOENIX, AZ - At 2:30 a.m., medical student Amanda Williamson was abruptly woken from her deep sleep to a STAT page.  "At first I didn't realize what was going on.  Medical students are never paged...

Near Death Experience for Medical Student After Taking Chart During Change of Shift

MILWAUKEE, WI - Richard Henning, a third-year medical student, has no idea how close he came to perishing at Memorial Hospital yesterday.  At approximately 7:04 a.m., Hennings interrupted a nursing change of shift report and took the medical...
stairwell at hospital

Residency Programs Nationwide Call Jeopardy to Replace New Interns Lost in Stairwells

CHICAGO, IL - Residency programs nationwide - including but not limited to emergency medicine, family medicine, general surgery, internal medicine, neurosurgery, OB/GYN, and pediatrics - report that a combined 20,000 new interns are lost...

Scrub Machine Programmed to ‘Mess with Staff’

CHICAGO, IL - Recent discoveries in computer programming have allowed programers of Dameda Scrub Machines to program a very interesting feature: the scrub machine can sense "how busy or lost" a person looks when...