55-hour ENERGY

FDA Approves 55-Hour ENERGY for Incoming July Interns

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a major win for soon-to-be-exhausted incoming July interns at residency programs across the land, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has...
sunset at the hospital

Monday Medicine Rounds Finish Just In Time for Tuesday Medicine Rounds

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – With record-setting efficiency, the internal medicine team here at St. Agnes Hospital whipped through their Monday morning rounds at a breakneck...

Oh NO! This Banker Doubles Students’ Debt at Medical School Graduation

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PARKER, CO - At Rocky Vista University College of Osteopathic Medicine newly minted doctors received a bit of a surprised at commencement. You could...

This Day in Medical History: ECG of the Day Toilet Paper Invented

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THIS DAY IN MEDICAL HISTORY, 1985 - Have you always wondered how ECG of the Day Toilet Paper came to be in the first...
angry surgeon

New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings

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ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings.  “We’ve known...

Fourth-Year Medical School Rotations, Here’s the Gouge

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As third-year medical students begin to think about scheduling for next year, they must carefully consider how to arrange their final, and arguably most...
first aid for usmle step 1

USMLE Board Study Tips by Wet, Wacky and Wobbly

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Studying for and taking the USMLE can be stressful. Here are 10 tips to help you prepare for the real deal: 1. Train your bladder...
medical students

Straight-A Medical Student Eager to One Day Have Very Own Patients Who Completely Ignore...

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Expressing that there would be “no greater conceivable opportunity to help others,” top-of-her-class medical student and part-time brownnoser Isabelle Wessington...
fever defervesce

Ask a 4th-Year Med Student (Who’s Checked Out for the Year)

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Our readers get to pose tough questions to our columnist-cum-med student who is only a few months away from graduating. Dear 4th-Year Med Student Who’s...
call room

After Successful Renovation, New Call Room is Now Optimized to Cause Full-On Depression

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JACKSONVILLE, FL - Convinced that being on-call isn't difficult enough in its own right, hospital administrators at Jacksonville Medical Center have successfully completed renovation of its...