Fortune Cookies Replace Lotto Numbers with Vital Signs
BROOKLYN, NY - In an effort to appeal to health care professionals who order Chinese food for take out because the cafeteria is closed, fortune...
Cardiothoracic Surgeon Identifies as Medical Student, Crushes Surgery Rotation
When asked if she felt like she had an unfair advantage against clearly weaker competition, Dr. Beer was unapologetic. “I felt like a student in my heart so I was just living my true self.”
Intern’s Wheelchair Driver’s License Suspended
CINCINNATI, OH - On Friday, Cincinnati Regional Adults Surgical Hospital (CRASH) suspended the wheelchair driver’s license of intern Velinda Soo, who was cited for...
Medical Student Induces Auto-Dystonia from Over-Nodding
MADISON, WI - A new case report in the journal American College of Higher Education (ACHE) describes the first known case of self-induced auto-dystonia...
Breaking: Medical Student Cuts Surgical Knot Too Short
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Medical student Dan Richards was disciplined Thursday for cutting a surgical knot "too short" during a skin closure.
"The surgeon told me...
Attractive Medical Student Only Gets ‘High Pass’
PHILADELPHIA, PA - An attractive third-year medical student, Layla Maloney, is garnering much attention after receiving only a “high pass” in her Medicine clerkship. ...
Medical Students Horrified to Learn That All Patients Die, Eventually
PHARMA, OH - A lone tear splashed to the floor, followed by a steady trickle as the residents tried to console the sobbing medical students. ...
Medical Student Conducts History & Physical with Spanish-Speaking Patient Using Only the Word ‘Dolor’
BOCA RATON, FL - Third-year medical student extraordinaire Gunner McBrownnose, only using the word "dolor," successfully conducted a complete history & physical encounter with...
Med Students Revolt! No One Notices
In an unprecedented move, medical students at University of Woeisme have joined forces and staged the largest revolt ever executed on school grounds. Citing...
Medical Student Accidentally Pimps Orthopedic Surgeon
NEW YORK, NY - In what is being called a “total collapse of the medical training hierarchy,” third-year medical student Jennifer Hutchinson of University Medical...