surgery

Medical Students Secures “Honors” In Surgery After Successfully Naming Last 5 Songs From Pandora

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DURHAM, NC - In what has been declared the finest academic performance seen in a generation, local medical student Brian Mills successfully named the title...
brown nose metastasizes

Med Student’s Brown Nose Metastasizes to Liver, Lungs

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CHICAGO, IL - Despite the repeated warnings from numerous residents and attendings to alter the trajectory of his health and well-being, the brown nose of 26-year-old...
call room

After Successful Renovation, New Call Room is Now Optimized to Cause Full-On Depression

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JACKSONVILLE, FL - Convinced that being on-call isn't difficult enough in its own right, hospital administrators at Jacksonville Medical Center have successfully completed renovation of its...
medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Cardboard Cutout of Medical Student Receives Honors in Surgery

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General Surgery is widely considered to be one of the most difficulty rotations in medical school. Many medical students strive to earn the coveted...
surgeon biopsy malignant fusion

Residency Program Biopsied, Found to Be Malignant

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BOSTON, MA - After undergoing biopsy last week at the insistence of several concerned fourth-year medical students who matched at its program, Pathology has...
med students drop out

Med Students Have All the Tools to Drop Out Before It’s Too Late

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the current uncertain health care climate and emphasizing that the "time is now," both the American Medical Association (AMA) and American...

Female Surgery Resident Reliant on VA Harassment for Affirmation

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LOCAL VA HOSPITAL - In what has been deemed a natural progression of surgical training, local resident Sara Lowell now counts on her interactions with patient...

Thanksgiving Miracle: Medical Student Bovies Family Turkey, Remembers to Suction Smoke

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Arlington, Virginia -- This Thanksgiving third year medical student at the University of Virginia and future general surgeon Tucker McMahon offered to carve the...
post call resident

Hospital Quarantine Ended After Horrifying Smell from Post-Call Resident Deemed ‘Non-Toxic’

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FAR ROCKAWAY, NY - A 24-hour quarantine of 18 medical students and 15 interns was called off after CDC officials confirmed that the fumes...

Neurosurgeon Replaced by 4th Year Medical Student due to Massive Number of Research Publications

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An attending neurosurgeon in central Ohio was replaced by a fourth-year medical student due to research production. MS4 End O’Scopit was interviewing for a...