STAT Officially Means “Maybe”
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Ever wonder why your 8 AM stat blood draw hasn’t been done even though it’s now 7 PM the next day? ...
New Littmann Stethoscope Allows You to Hear One’s Thoughts
ST. PAUL, MN - Manufacturer 3M has released a new Littman Mind-Reading I Stethoscope for health care practitioners to help diagnose someone else’s thoughts,...
Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds
ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published...
PhD Giving Lecture to Med Students Intends to Make Lecture as Convoluted and Clinically...
BOSTON, MA – Bart Mnart, a PhD in comparative political biology, couldn’t help but wring his hands together gleefully during our interview in his...
Valentine’s Day Tease: Stethoscopes in Sexy Positions
WARNING: The following images of sexy stethoscopes in suggestive positions are appropriate only for health care providers older than the age of 18. (Click...
Med Student Knocks Out 30 Teeth Attempting to Intubate Patient, Intern Gets the 7-10...
TUSKEGEE, AL – In an unprecedented display of disregard for dentition, MS4 Gunner McDeebag managed to knock out all but two of a patient’s...
Medical Student Horrified to Learn Patient Has Normal Sized Phallus
In a shocking turn of events, third year medical student Dan Rydberg's first day of his urology rotation took a horrific turn this past...
Headlines from the Week in Medical News
ROCHESTER, NY - After two-year grant-writing process, associate professor of medicine’s submission to JAMA’s “funny cartoon caption contest” fails peer review process.
AKRON, OH -...
How to F***ing Shine on the Wards: A Med Student Guide to Getting Honors
We all want that coveted “H.” Here’s how to be a star on the wards:
1. On the first day of rotation, don’t forget the...