After Successful Renovation, New Call Room is Now Optimized to Cause Full-On Depression
JACKSONVILLE, FL - Convinced that being on-call isn't difficult enough in its own right, hospital administrators at Jacksonville Medical Center have successfully completed renovation of its...
97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets
BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...
Med Student Gunners Ousted from Lecture Hall Front Row
LOS ANGELES, CA – As with most medical school classes, unofficial "assigned" seats in lecture halls becomes the norm after a few weeks of...
Newly-Minted Third-Year Medical Student Puzzled by Lack of Multiple-Choice Question
Jenner Hobbs, a fresh new face on the internal medicine wards, is having trouble adjusting to his new environment. Having just finished the first...
University of Phoenix to Start Online M.D. Degree Program
PHOENIX, AZ - Officials at the wildly popular University of Phoenix have announced their newest online learning program for obtaining the Doctor of Medicine...
Medical Student Applicant Gets a 23T for MCAT Score, Stresses the T During Interviews
MONTPILIER, VT - Nathanial Monson, who goes by Nathanial for pretentious purposes, scored a 23T on the Medical College Admission Test (MCAT). The MCAT...
Medical School Dean Welcomes 178 of the Brightest Young Minds Ever to Get Caught...
CAMBRIDGE, MA – “Booyeah, baby...” Dr. Arthur Giles, Dean of Admissions at the School of Medicine whispered under his breath before addressing the auditorium.
“Our...
Controversy Over Surgery Department’s ‘Most Annoying Medical Student’ Award
DALLAS, TX - Dr. Greg Peterson, a chief resident in general surgery, has seen his share of medical students rotate through the surgery service....
Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds
ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published...
Medical Student Leaves Stethoscope Somewhere in This Godforsaken Hospital
HELL - Brian Studebaker, MS3, has left his stethoscope somewhere in this god forsaken hospital for the 85th time, sources confirm. Studebaker describes his...