Fortune Cookies Replace Lotto Numbers with Vital Signs

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BROOKLYN, NY - In an effort to appeal to health care professionals who order Chinese food for take out because the cafeteria is closed, fortune cookie maker Wonton Food Inc. have decided to replace their...

Anesthesia resident lauded for poise during intubation, admits he had no clue what happened

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PORTLAND, OR - Ms. Wee was prepped for her biannual joint replacement in OR 4, but this time would be different. Anesthesia resident Dr. CJ Van Ross would be at the helm, stationed at...
iv pole medical student

In Cost-Cutting Measure, IV Poles to Be Replaced with Eager Medical Students

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Earlier this week, administrators and health care practitioners at Birmingham Medical Center implemented a new cost-cutting measure that hopes to save their health system millions of dollars.  What is the new...

Medical Subspecialties as Star Wars Characters

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The release of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is upon us. Before we re-watch Episodes I through VII in our respective break and call rooms, let’s take a look at healthcare’s cast of...
upset student

Medical Schools, Residency Programs in Shock as Zero Medical Students Matched This Year

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a completely unexpected development in the past 24 hours, medical schools and residency programs are shocked and confused as a grand total of zero medical students matched into residency programs...
surgery

Medical Students Secures “Honors” In Surgery After Successfully Naming Last 5 Songs From Pandora

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DURHAM, NC - In what has been declared the finest academic performance seen in a generation, local medical student Brian Mills successfully named the title and artist for 5 sequential songs played on the Pandora...

‘Real World Medical School’ Canceled After One Episode

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SAN JOSE, CA - The Real World Medical School was immediately canceled by NBC after the first episode last night.  "Absolutely nothing exciting happened," said viewer Stacy Henderson. John went to the library and studied for...

Breaking News! 2014 Match Day Results Leaked Early

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NRMP HQ, WASHINGTON, DC – Friday, medical students throughout the nation will officially find out where they matched for residency.  Reports are circulating on Student Doctor Network (SDN) and other medical student forums that hackers were...
dialysis machine ATM machine

Med Student Mistakes Dialysis Machine for ATM Machine

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NASHVILLE, TN - As much as they wanted to help out third-year medical student Erin Sperling, the staff of the dialysis unit at Vanderbilt University Medical Center just didn't have the heart to tell...

Medical Student Applicant Gets a 23T for MCAT Score, Stresses the T During Interviews

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MONTPILIER, VT - Nathanial Monson, who goes by Nathanial for pretentious purposes, scored a 23T on the Medical College Admission Test (MCAT). The MCAT is a four-part test designed to thin the heard of...