Report: Nurse’s Candy Drawer, Only Chocolate Laffy Taffy and Dum Dums Left

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CARDIAC FLOOR - Reports around the hospital are the nurse’s candy drawer on the cardiac floor has run cold. "You mean to tell me I started...
maximal surgery

Surgeon Recommends Maximally-Invasive Surgery

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KEARNEY, NE - Dr. Billy Ali Colic, a surgeon at Kind Samaritan Hospital, pulled no punches and hid no excitement when he recommended a...
medical student

In Catastrophic Med-School Blunder, Student Gives Actual Feedback About Rotation

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In a rare but highly consequential faux pas, third-year medical student Kevin Garlander gave his actual opinion when asked about the quality of his...
first aid for usmle step 1

USMLE Board Study Tips by Wet, Wacky and Wobbly

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Studying for and taking the USMLE can be stressful. Here are 10 tips to help you prepare for the real deal: 1. Train your bladder...
pushing wheelchair

Intern’s Wheelchair Driver’s License Suspended

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CINCINNATI, OH - On Friday, Cincinnati Regional Adults Surgical Hospital (CRASH) suspended the wheelchair driver’s license of intern Velinda Soo, who was cited for...

Med Students to Get Vaccine After General Population, Cacti, Humpback Whales

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ATLANTA, GA - Commenting their status as backline healthcare workers, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has recommended medical students get vaccinated...

Tinder Acquires Scheduling Software AMiON, Creating TinderResident App

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Following years of agony among chief residents attempting to input schedules into the AMiON.com interface, a major change is underway: Tinder is now acquiring...
eyeball exam

Internal Medicine Resident Performs IPPA on Eye Exam OSCE Station

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An internal medicine resident at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, Canada provided some much-needed entertainment for a bored OSCE examiner during part...
bone marrow

A for Effort: Med Student Palpates Patient’s Bone Marrow

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NASHVILLE, TN - In an effort to both better improve her physical exam skills and understand the etiology of pancytopenia, third-year Vanderbilt medical student...
attending physician

Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday

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NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her...