ER’s New Dilaudid Salt Lick, Admissions Down 90%
SACRAMENTO, CA - Sutter Health System is changing the game. In a world of overcrowded ERs and the inability to triage efficiently, new innovations...
PhD Giving Lecture to Med Students Intends to Make Lecture as Convoluted and Clinically...
BOSTON, MA – Bart Mnart, a PhD in comparative political biology, couldn’t help but wring his hands together gleefully during our interview in his...
Med Student Avoids Pelvic Exam for Record 1,429th Straight Day
KANSAS CITY, MO - Fourth-year medical student Rick Hansen ain't no dummy. He even says it himself: "I ain't no dummy." Like most medical...
Report: Nurse’s Candy Drawer, Only Chocolate Laffy Taffy and Dum Dums Left
CARDIAC FLOOR - Reports around the hospital are the nurse’s candy drawer on the cardiac floor has run cold.
"You mean to tell me I started...
Medical Student Applicant Gets a 23T for MCAT Score, Stresses the T During Interviews
MONTPILIER, VT - Nathanial Monson, who goes by Nathanial for pretentious purposes, scored a 23T on the Medical College Admission Test (MCAT). The MCAT...
M3 to Practice Deliveries in Sim-Center, Disappointed Entire Session Spent on History Taking
Local third-year medical student was overjoyed when she saw the schedule for her OB/GYN clerkship orientation included an hour in the simulation center practicing...
The Michael Jordan of Interns Retires After Curing His 6th Patient
CLEVELAND, OH - We all know Dr. Mark Jeffries by now. He is the Michael Jordan of interns. Setting records by storm, Jeffries has set the...
New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings
ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings. “We’ve known...
Army Medical Student Disappointed to Hear Apache II Score Has Nothing to Do with...
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Third year medical student and prior helicopter pilot, Tim McGrowler, was disappointed to find out that the APACHE II has nothing to...
A for Effort: Med Student Palpates Patient’s Bone Marrow
NASHVILLE, TN - In an effort to both better improve her physical exam skills and understand the etiology of pancytopenia, third-year Vanderbilt medical student...