Fortune Cookies Replace Lotto Numbers with Vital Signs

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BROOKLYN, NY - In an effort to appeal to health care professionals who order Chinese food for take out because the cafeteria is closed, fortune...

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Identifies as Medical Student, Crushes Surgery Rotation

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When asked if she felt like she had an unfair advantage against clearly weaker competition, Dr. Beer was unapologetic. “I felt like a student in my heart so I was just living my true self.”
pushing wheelchair

Intern’s Wheelchair Driver’s License Suspended

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CINCINNATI, OH - On Friday, Cincinnati Regional Adults Surgical Hospital (CRASH) suspended the wheelchair driver’s license of intern Velinda Soo, who was cited for...
medical student nodding

Medical Student Induces Auto-Dystonia from Over-Nodding

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MADISON, WI - A new case report in the journal American College of Higher Education (ACHE) describes the first known case of self-induced auto-dystonia...

Breaking: Medical Student Cuts Surgical Knot Too Short

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Medical student Dan Richards was disciplined Thursday for cutting a surgical knot "too short" during a skin closure. "The surgeon told me...
medical student

Attractive Medical Student Only Gets ‘High Pass’

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - An attractive third-year medical student, Layla Maloney, is garnering much attention after receiving only a “high pass” in her Medicine clerkship. ...

Medical Students Horrified to Learn That All Patients Die, Eventually

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PHARMA, OH - A lone tear splashed to the floor, followed by a steady trickle as the residents tried to console the sobbing medical students. ...
medical student

Medical Student Conducts History & Physical with Spanish-Speaking Patient Using Only the Word ‘Dolor’

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BOCA RATON, FL - Third-year medical student extraordinaire Gunner McBrownnose, only using the word "dolor," successfully conducted a complete history & physical encounter with...

Med Students Revolt! No One Notices

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In an unprecedented move, medical students at University of Woeisme have joined forces and staged the largest revolt ever executed on school grounds. Citing...

Medical Student Accidentally Pimps Orthopedic Surgeon

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NEW YORK, NY - In what is being called a “total collapse of the medical training hierarchy,” third-year medical student Jennifer Hutchinson of University Medical...