fever defervesce

Ask a 4th-Year Med Student (Who’s Checked Out for the Year)

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Our readers get to pose tough questions to our columnist-cum-med student who is only a few months away from graduating. Dear 4th-Year Med Student Who’s...
foley catheter

Clumsy Intern Keeps Tripping Over Patients’ Foley Catheters

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BOULDER, CO - Patients, nurses, and urologists at Boulder Medical Center are starting to lose patience with intern Willie Johnson, who despite being incredibly...
medical student

Medical Student Conducts History & Physical with Spanish-Speaking Patient Using Only the Word ‘Dolor’

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BOCA RATON, FL - Third-year medical student extraordinaire Gunner McBrownnose, only using the word "dolor," successfully conducted a complete history & physical encounter with...

The Updated Hippocratic Oath for Health Care Professionals

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I swear by Epic Hyperspace, by eCW, by Allscripts, by AthenaHealth, and by all the Coders and Accountants, making them my witnesses, that I...

This Day in Medical History: ECG of the Day Toilet Paper Invented

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THIS DAY IN MEDICAL HISTORY, 1985 - Have you always wondered how ECG of the Day Toilet Paper came to be in the first...
white coat

Super-Aerodynamic White Coat to Shave Seconds Off Rounds

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WASHINGTON, DC - With the completion of the Sochi Olympics and the success of their “Mach 39” high-tech aerodynamic suits in propelling U.S. speedskaters...
standardized patient

Exciting New Ways to Finance Residency Interviews

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It’s that time of year again when fourth year medical students across the country prepare for the long, stressful, and expensive process of interviewing...
medical student nodding

Breaking: Med Student Saves Patient’s Life Using Krebs Cycle

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RALEIGH, NC - In a shocking turn of events in the emergency department this morning, 3rd-year med student Daniel Moder saved a patient’s life...

Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves

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GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...
cocaine enthusiasm

Med Student Attributes Wide-Eyed Enthusiasm to Cocaine Use

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NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine attending Lauren Stevens was really impressed with her third-year medical student Steven Donnelly, in particular the energy and...