Med Student Figures Out Heart Rate: Count Beats in a Day, Divide by 24...
CHARLESTON, SC - In a classic case of medical student inefficiency, fourth year Tommy Reinhardt has informed his medicine team that he plans on calculating...
FDA Approves 55-Hour ENERGY for Incoming July Interns
WASHINGTON, DC - In a major win for soon-to-be-exhausted incoming July interns at residency programs across the land, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has...
Buried Under Avalanche of Past Medical History, Rescue Underway to Save Chief Complaint
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Nascent intern Jesse D'Amato was only part-way through the opening line of his history of present illness (HPI) when supervising Tulane...
PhD Giving Lecture to Med Students Intends to Make Lecture as Convoluted and Clinically...
BOSTON, MA – Bart Mnart, a PhD in comparative political biology, couldn’t help but wring his hands together gleefully during our interview in his...
New Littmann Stethoscope Allows You to Hear One’s Thoughts
ST. PAUL, MN - Manufacturer 3M has released a new Littman Mind-Reading I Stethoscope for health care practitioners to help diagnose someone else’s thoughts,...
Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50
ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...
Medical Student Applicant Gets a 23T for MCAT Score, Stresses the T During Interviews
MONTPILIER, VT - Nathanial Monson, who goes by Nathanial for pretentious purposes, scored a 23T on the Medical College Admission Test (MCAT). The MCAT...
Lab Coats Now Available in Brand New Colors
MEMPHIS, TN - Like the stethoscope, the white lab coat has not only been a magnet for bodily fluids and random food products, but...
Curious Med Student Smells Finger After Digital Rectal Exam
BOSTON, MA – At the nation’s most prestigious medical school, Harvard Medical School, students were taught how to perform a digital rectal examination (DRE)...
Genetics Professor Uses Students as Examples During Dysmorphology Lecture
“As future physicians, it’s absolutely essential for you to be able to recognize features of genetic disorders in your patients,” Dr. Lena Lombardo stated,...