Hospital Quarantine Ended After Horrifying Smell from Post-Call Resident Deemed ‘Non-Toxic’
FAR ROCKAWAY, NY - A 24-hour quarantine of 18 medical students and 15 interns was called off after CDC officials confirmed that the fumes...
The Updated Hippocratic Oath for Health Care Professionals
I swear by Epic Hyperspace, by eCW, by Allscripts, by AthenaHealth, and by all the Coders and Accountants, making them my witnesses, that I...
Dedicated Med Student Spends One Hour Listening for Bowel Sounds
AUGUSTA, GA - Indicating to one and all he is dedicated to this internal medicine rotation and a lifelong career in medicine, third-year medical...
Previous Owner of First Aid for the USMLE Step 1 Book Obviously Failed Step...
COLUMBUS, OH - Stephen Morrical, a second-year medical student at The Ohio State University, reported yesterday that the previous owner of his First Aid...
Fortune Cookies Replace Lotto Numbers with Vital Signs
BROOKLYN, NY - In an effort to appeal to health care professionals who order Chinese food for take out because the cafeteria is closed, fortune...
Medical School Teaches Corporations How to Get Workers to Pay for The Privilege of...
NEW YORK — Medical students and patients alike were surprised to find the lobby of University Hospital swarmed with executives from some of the...
Medical School Revamps Admission Interviews to Mimic Day on Internal Medicine Rotation
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - After an onslaught of honest evaluations about several rotations from outgoing 4th years, a local medical school admissions committee decided to...
Med Students Not Actually Working, Just Looking at Porn
NEW YORK, NY - Though medical students Matthew Roberts, Erin Long, Lauren McCarty look like they are studying or sifting through a patient's electronic...
Scrub Machine Programmed to ‘Mess with Staff’
CHICAGO, IL - Recent discoveries in computer programming have allowed programers of Dameda Scrub Machines to program a very interesting feature: the scrub machine...