Thursday, July 21, 2022
signed off sign off

“New Intern” Added to Patient’s Problem List

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Joining the ranks of “Congestive Heart Failure,” “Chronic Kidney Disease III,” and “Mood Disorder (Unspecified),” local patient Summer Days’ inpatient active problem list has expanded to include “New Intern” as well now that fresh...
medical student

In Catastrophic Med-School Blunder, Student Gives Actual Feedback About Rotation

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In a rare but highly consequential faux pas, third-year medical student Kevin Garlander gave his actual opinion when asked about the quality of his med school rotation. “I thought that’s what they wanted,” explained a...
intubation teeth

Med Student Knocks Out 30 Teeth Attempting to Intubate Patient, Intern Gets the 7-10...

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TUSKEGEE, AL – In an unprecedented display of disregard for dentition, MS4 Gunner McDeebag managed to knock out all but two of a patient’s teeth while attempting his first intubation during an elective anesthesia...
gunner med student

Gunner Med Student Sends Interns Home, Says He’s Got This

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BOSTON, MA - Clearly shooting for the highest grade possible on his internal medicine rotation, self-proclaimed third-year gunner med student Grayson McGravy told the two medicine interns on his team to go home this morning because "I got...
fire

Breaking: Interns Literally Being Thrown into the Fire

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ATLANTA, GA - For brand new interns, July 1 is the day where they often feel like they're being thrown into the fire.  For five really unfortunate interns at Georgia Medical Center (GMC), their Internal Medicine...

Neurosurgeon Replaced by 4th Year Medical Student due to Massive Number of Research Publications

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An attending neurosurgeon in central Ohio was replaced by a fourth-year medical student due to research production. MS4 End O’Scopit was interviewing for a spot in a neurological surgery residency program when the chair...
eyeball retina

Medical Student Accidentally Identifies Retina on Fundoscopic Exam

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BOSTON, MA – Third-year medical student Iris Conners did the one thing that every medical trainee, and frankly every human in any field of medicine, aspires to achieve in their career: she saw the...

Local Nurse and Intern Declare EMR Documentation War‏

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COOPERSTOWN, NY - Citing a "clearly aggressive nursing note" which was felt to be "the absolute last straw," medical intern Edward Costa formally declared a documentation war on nurse Catherine Ragaz at 12:03 this morning. Costa reports...
embarrassed medical studnet

Medical Student Horrified to Learn Patient Has Normal Sized Phallus

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In a shocking turn of events, third year medical student Dan Rydberg's first day of his urology rotation took a horrific turn this past Wednesday after Dan learned that his patient’s penis was, in...
champagne tap cava

Not Quite: Intern Claims Champagne Tap After Sticking Bottle of Moët & Chandon

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BOSTON, MA - An intern’s initial excitement was quickly reeled in after his team pointed out that sticking a spinal needle through cork of a bottle of Moët & Chandon Imperial Brut did not...