Headlines from the Week in Medical News

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ROCHESTER, NY - After two-year grant-writing process, associate professor of medicine’s submission to JAMA’s “funny cartoon caption contest” fails peer review process. AKRON, OH -...
Dab

MS3 Responsible for Additional 50cc Blood Loss During Surgery for Doing ‘The Dab’ Instead...

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AKRON, OH - After working in academics for over 20 years in Gynecology, Dr. Marshall thought she had seen it all. But a whole...
eyeball exam

Internal Medicine Resident Performs IPPA on Eye Exam OSCE Station

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An internal medicine resident at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, Canada provided some much-needed entertainment for a bored OSCE examiner during part...

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Identifies as Medical Student, Crushes Surgery Rotation

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When asked if she felt like she had an unfair advantage against clearly weaker competition, Dr. Beer was unapologetic. “I felt like a student in my heart so I was just living my true self.”
graham crackers

97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets

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BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...
medical student

Medical Student Writes Medical Satire Article to Add Validity on ERAS That He is...

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CHARLESTON, SC - In an unprecedented attempt to seem interesting and a more well-rounded applicant than he really is, Brice Jargins, fourth-year medical student,...
stethoscope fairy

Medical Student Leaves Stethoscope Somewhere in This Godforsaken Hospital

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HELL - Brian Studebaker, MS3, has left his stethoscope somewhere in this god forsaken hospital for the 85th time, sources confirm.  Studebaker describes his...
attending physician

Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday

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NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her...
Med Student, WiFi

Attending’s Feedback to Student: ‘Strengthen Your WiFi Signal’

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AUBURN, AL - It was the final day of his medicine rotation, and third-year medical student Scott Hannigan sat down with his attending Rachel...

Medical Specialties as Disney Characters

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Anesthesia - Rafiki from The Lion King. Most of the rest of us have no clue what the hell you are doing with all...