productive cough

Getting Things Done: Cough Quite Productive Today

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HUNTSVILLE, AL - Checking off its To Do list like it's nobody else's business, patient Reynold Baker's cough is happy to report that it...

Med Student Wows Surgeon with Suction Technique

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DENVER, CO – Medical student James Taverny turned heads in the OR when he made history with perfect suction technique during an open cholecystectomy...

MS-IV Doesn’t Match After Failing to Post Board Scores on Facebook

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James Thomas, a fourth-year medical student, went unmatched this year after he failed to report his passing board scores on his Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,...

Medical Student Graduates Still Unsure of How a Period Works, Exactly

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Dan Honsfeld has officially received his Doctor of Medicine this spring without ever fully grasping the concept of womanly bleeding as part of the...
work burnout

FDA approves first novel drug to treat medical burnout

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TWISP, WA - The US Food and Drug Administration today approved Peaceaudi (Idongivafumab) injection for intravenous use for the treatment of medical burnout. “Medical burnout...
tip jar

Intern Spotted Rounding with Tip Jar, Asking for Spare Change

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PITTSBURGH, PA - Medicine intern Randy McMichael has been trying to make his measly paycheck last each month.  Despite making the usual sacrifices -...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: The Adjective of Pus is ‘Purulent,’ Not ‘P**sy’

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ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an important reminder to healthcare providers today, reminding them once and...

Next-Generation Robotic Simulation Patients to Contain Real Humans

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After years of experience building advanced robotic simulation patients, The SimCenter of America design team thinks they’ve reached another technological breakthrough. “Basically, we found that...
totem poll

Med Student Begins Long, Long Climb Up the Totem Pole

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SOMEWHERE AT THE BOTTOM BUT DEFINITELY FAR FROM THE TOP - Realizing that the commonly-used phrase to depict medical hierarchies is not a metaphor, first-year...
medical student

Medical Student Conducts History & Physical with Spanish-Speaking Patient Using Only the Word ‘Dolor’

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BOCA RATON, FL - Third-year medical student extraordinaire Gunner McBrownnose, only using the word "dolor," successfully conducted a complete history & physical encounter with...