Apple to Introduce New Surgical Gown 7 with No Sleeves
CUPERTINO, CA - Apple Medical just announced their new line of OR gear for the new year: iSurgicalGown 7. This new line takes a...
Nurse Enters the Cave of Wonders, Finds Infamous Resident Genie
On her Saturday shift, Anne looked unusually ecstatic. This is the same Anne who usually has a frown on her face and is looking...
Med Student Knocks Out 30 Teeth Attempting to Intubate Patient, Intern Gets the 7-10...
TUSKEGEE, AL – In an unprecedented display of disregard for dentition, MS4 Gunner McDeebag managed to knock out all but two of a patient’s...
Match Day! Med Students Find Out Where They’ll Be Ruling-Out COVID-19 on July 1st
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Though Match Day celebrations have been canceled nationwide, that won't stop fourth-year medical students from experiencing the shear joy of finding...
Exciting New Ways to Finance Residency Interviews
It’s that time of year again when fourth year medical students across the country prepare for the long, stressful, and expensive process of interviewing...
Breaking: Intern Can’t Hold It, Pees on Self
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Unable to speak up and hold his bladder any longer on morning rounds, surgical intern Chris McElroy decided to pee all over...
Medical Student Forgoes Last Year, Jumps to Residency Draft Early
In an unprecedented move, John Cummings held a press conference in the student lounge to announce his decision to forgo the last year of...
Med Student Yammering About Oxidative Phosphorylation, Kill Us Now
LAS VEGAS, NV - Second-year University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) medical student Karen Weaselsnout-Jones continues to cement her legacy as the most annoying...
COVID-19 Solution: In Event of Vent Shortage, Med Students Will Bag Indefinitely
CHANTILLY, VA - In the unfortunate but very possible event a surge of COVID-19 hospitalizations leads to a shortage of ventilators, the American Medical...
Med Student’s Brown Nose Metastasizes to Liver, Lungs
CHICAGO, IL - Despite the repeated warnings from numerous residents and attendings to alter the trajectory of his health and well-being, the brown nose of 26-year-old...