N95 99 negative AFB sputums

Paranoid Intern Rules Out TB with 99 Negative AFB Sputums

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BOSTON, MA - Not taking any chances when it comes to his patient's and his very own health, July intern Reed Evans plans to...
55-hour ENERGY

FDA Approves 55-Hour ENERGY for Incoming July Interns

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a major win for soon-to-be-exhausted incoming July interns at residency programs across the land, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has...
new stethoscope

New Littmann Stethoscope Allows You to Hear One’s Thoughts

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ST. PAUL, MN - Manufacturer 3M has released a new Littman Mind-Reading I Stethoscope for health care practitioners to help diagnose someone else’s thoughts,...

Physical Exam Tips: The Lungs

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Examining one lung is hard enough, but two of them??!!  TWO??!!  UGHHHHH!!  This is so much work!  If you only have the stamina to...
foley catheter

Clumsy Intern Keeps Tripping Over Patients’ Foley Catheters

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BOULDER, CO - Patients, nurses, and urologists at Boulder Medical Center are starting to lose patience with intern Willie Johnson, who despite being incredibly...
despacito

‘Despacito’ Doubles Spanish Vocabulary for Non-Spanish-Speaking Health Care Staff

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Health care staff across the country are praising the song “Despacito,” Justin Bieber’s hit collaboration with Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee, for enhancing interactions...
neurosurgeons can act like kids

Medical Student Publicly Humiliated to Restore Neurosurgery Street Cred

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PRINCETON, NJ - When neurosurgery residents at Princeton University Hospital discovered they had a reputation among the medical students as being friendly and nice,...
medical student

ABCDE’s of Trauma: MS3 Edition

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In the fourth year of medical school and we are required to complete an “intern prep course” that involves a lot of simulation cases....

Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves

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GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...
medical consult

What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 1

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Initial consult notes usually end with the following line: Thank you for the interesting consult.  What does that really mean?  In the first of...