upset doctor

Things Residency Has Stolen From Me

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Sleep... many many hours of sleep. Meals... 3 meals a day now equals one granola bar and a cup of coffee. Time… Having time to have a bowel...
embarrassed medical studnet

Study: Patient Satisfaction Ratings Skyrocket When Patient First Seen By That One Really Slow...

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SEATTLE, WA – A study published Tuesday in The Journal of Graduate Medical Education reports that patient satisfaction scores increase significantly when patients are...
gunner med student

Match Day! Med Students Find Out Where They’ll Be Ruling-Out COVID-19 on July 1st

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Though Match Day celebrations have been canceled nationwide, that won't stop fourth-year medical students from experiencing the shear joy of finding...
intubation teeth

Med Student Knocks Out 30 Teeth Attempting to Intubate Patient, Intern Gets the 7-10...

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TUSKEGEE, AL – In an unprecedented display of disregard for dentition, MS4 Gunner McDeebag managed to knock out all but two of a patient’s...
fever defervesce

Ask a 4th-Year Med Student (Who’s Checked Out for the Year)

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Our readers get to pose tough questions to our columnist-cum-med student who is only a few months away from graduating. Dear 4th-Year Med Student Who’s...
pneumothorax

July Intern Really Excited to Cause His Very First Pneumothorax

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ATLANTA, GA - Sometimes getting thrown into the fire is the best way to learn.  At least that's what July intern Timothy McDuffy thinks....

Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves

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GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...

Radiologist Adds Arrow Signs To Group Tinder Photos

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  Dr. David Strand, a practicing radiologist for 10 years, has recently expanded his 40 hour workweek by helping dating hopefuls navigate the popular dating...

Near Death Experience for Medical Student After Taking Chart During Change of Shift

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MILWAUKEE, WI - Richard Henning, a third-year medical student, has no idea how close he came to perishing at Memorial Hospital yesterday.  At approximately 7:04 a.m.,...
medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Med Student with Crushing Debt Terrified He Will Like Family Medicine

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MAYWOOD, IL - Citing concerns about his crushing debt, local 3rd-year med student Aaron Ferguson reports that he is “terrified” he will enjoy his...