Hospital Safety: Fire Marshall Bill Edition
Fire Marshall Bill Burns taught us valuable lessons in safety for 5 years. This one in the hospital was none other than the best....
University of Phoenix to Start Online M.D. Degree Program
PHOENIX, AZ - Officials at the wildly popular University of Phoenix have announced their newest online learning program for obtaining the Doctor of Medicine...
Medical Student Disappears in Search of Mysterious Codman Triangle
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Arun Matthews, a 3rd year medical student has been reported missing from his third floor library cubicle since the early hours...
Fake News: Tiger Wasn’t Pulled Over for DUI, He Was Post-Call
PALM BEACH, FL - Reports have surfaced that CNN's original claim that Tiger Woods was arrested for driving under the influence are false. It...
Med Student Avoids Pelvic Exam for Record 1,429th Straight Day
KANSAS CITY, MO - Fourth-year medical student Rick Hansen ain't no dummy. He even says it himself: "I ain't no dummy." Like most medical...
Medical Student Graduates Still Unsure of How a Period Works, Exactly
Dan Honsfeld has officially received his Doctor of Medicine this spring without ever fully grasping the concept of womanly bleeding as part of the...
Residency Programs Nationwide Call Jeopardy to Replace New Interns Lost in Stairwells
CHICAGO, IL - Residency programs nationwide - including but not limited to emergency medicine, family medicine, general surgery, internal medicine, neurosurgery, OB/GYN, and pediatrics...
New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings
ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings. “We’ve known...
COVID-19 Solution: In Event of Vent Shortage, Med Students Will Bag Indefinitely
CHANTILLY, VA - In the unfortunate but very possible event a surge of COVID-19 hospitalizations leads to a shortage of ventilators, the American Medical...
Intern Reads A Full UpToDate Article, Becomes Annoying Expert on the Subject
KEARNEY, NE - Dr. Lacy Rash, a transitional dermatology intern at Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH), behaved with a noticeable sense of entitlement and reverence...