COVID-19 Solution: In Event of Vent Shortage, Med Students Will Bag Indefinitely

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CHANTILLY, VA - In the unfortunate but very possible event a surge of COVID-19 hospitalizations leads to a shortage of ventilators, the American Medical...
heartbeat pulse

Med Student Figures Out Heart Rate: Count Beats in a Day, Divide by 24...

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CHARLESTON, SC - In a classic case of medical student inefficiency, fourth year Tommy Reinhardt has informed his medicine team that he plans on calculating...
laughter best medicine Ativan

Breaking: Ativan is the Best Medicine, Laughter Falls to Sixth

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BOSTON, MA - Is laughter the best medicine?  Not any more.  According to a new poll of physicians and other medical providers published in the New England...
er medical charts

Med Student Rotating in ER Always Seems to Pick Up a Chart Requiring a...

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DETROIT, MI - Third-year medical student Ronny Wilkerson can’t believe the number of pelvic exams that he is performing on his clinical rotation in...
medical student nodding

Dedicated Med Student Spends One Hour Listening for Bowel Sounds

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AUGUSTA, GA - Indicating to one and all he is dedicated to this internal medicine rotation and a lifelong career in medicine, third-year medical...
beach vacation

July Interns Forcing Nurses to Take July Vacation in Record Numbers

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MILWAUKEE, WI - Migraines, elevated blood pressures, and heart attacks are just a few things nurses are trying to avoid this month as they...
foley catheter

Clumsy Intern Keeps Tripping Over Patients’ Foley Catheters

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BOULDER, CO - Patients, nurses, and urologists at Boulder Medical Center are starting to lose patience with intern Willie Johnson, who despite being incredibly...
fart, CNN, Anderson Cooper

Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50

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ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...
porn

Med Students Not Actually Working, Just Looking at Porn

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NEW YORK, NY - Though medical students Matthew Roberts, Erin Long, Lauren McCarty look like they are studying or sifting through a patient's electronic...

Case Report: OB/GYN Resident Not Always Catty, Actually Is Relatively Friendly

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BOCA RATON, FL - Medical students across the nation have been bewildered by the outrageous report that local OB/GYN Ann Hedonia is only catty on...