Saturday, July 11, 2020
embarrassed medical studnet

Medical Student Horrified to Learn Patient Has Normal Sized Phallus

In a shocking turn of events, third year medical student Dan Rydberg's first day of his urology rotation took a horrific turn this past Wednesday after Dan learned that his patient’s penis was, in...

Medical Student Disappears in Search of Mysterious Codman Triangle

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Arun Matthews, a 3rd year medical student has been reported missing from his third floor library cubicle since the early hours of yesterday. According to his peers, he was last seen...
new stethoscope

New Littmann Stethoscope Allows You to Hear One’s Thoughts

ST. PAUL, MN - Manufacturer 3M has released a new Littman Mind-Reading I Stethoscope for health care practitioners to help diagnose someone else’s thoughts, instincts, and motivations, and promises to do so with superior...

Here We Go Again, Pathology Was Left Out of Another Article

GOMERBLOG HQ - Whoops.  We really screwed up this time: Pathology was left out of another Gomerblog article. To be specific, THIS ARTICLE. We sat down to report on pathology and just forgot about...
oxidative phosphorylation

Med Student Yammering About Oxidative Phosphorylation, Kill Us Now

LAS VEGAS, NV - Second-year University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) medical student Karen Weaselsnout-Jones continues to cement her legacy as the most annoying gunner of all-time, this time by choosing to give her...

Roger the Resident in Tears, Freed from Medicine Captivity

ST. LOUIS, MO - Roger Springfield, a 28-year-old internal medicine resident at St. Louis University Hospital, was rescued last weekend by conservationists after being abused and held captive for nearly three years.  Roger cried...
medical students at starbucks

Medical Students Excited to Volunteer for Studies of Ebola Transmission

SACRAMENTO, CA - In the wake of the CDC’s announcement that we still do not fully understand exactly how the Ebola virus is transmitted, several top medical schools have started offering $5 Starbucks gift cards...
foley catheter

Clumsy Intern Keeps Tripping Over Patients’ Foley Catheters

BOULDER, CO - Patients, nurses, and urologists at Boulder Medical Center are starting to lose patience with intern Willie Johnson, who despite being incredibly nice and very bright, just always seems to be tripping...
toliet flushing medications

So You Dropped Your Pager into the Toilet, What to Do Next

You're on-call, but before sh*t hits the fan, you hit the toilet.  Just when you're pulling up your pants or fixing your belt, you hear that distinctive splash into the muddy waters below: your...
tricarboxylic acid cycle TCA cycle dying patients kreb cycle

Med Student Wastes Dying Patient’s Last Moments on Earth Talking About Damn Krebs Cycle

LAS VEGAS, NV - F**K!  The Snout is at it again!  Second-year University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) med student Karen Weaselsnout-Jones has been spotted at the bedside of innocent 107-year-old Vincent Canter, wasting...