Residency Program Biopsied, Found to Be Malignant
BOSTON, MA - After undergoing biopsy last week at the insistence of several concerned fourth-year medical students who matched at its program, Pathology has...
Med Student’s Brown Nose Metastasizes to Liver, Lungs
CHICAGO, IL - Despite the repeated warnings from numerous residents and attendings to alter the trajectory of his health and well-being, the brown nose of 26-year-old...
Med Student Figures Out Heart Rate: Count Beats in a Day, Divide by 24...
CHARLESTON, SC - In a classic case of medical student inefficiency, fourth year Tommy Reinhardt has informed his medicine team that he plans on calculating...
Medical School Approves 3rd Year Surgical Rotation as Indication for Foley
IOWA CITY, IA – Carver College of Medicine has taken a bold stance on the need for urinary catheterization to prevent recurrent acute kidney...
Med Student Yammering About Oxidative Phosphorylation, Kill Us Now
LAS VEGAS, NV - Second-year University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) medical student Karen Weaselsnout-Jones continues to cement her legacy as the most annoying...
Glycolysis & Other Medical Terms That’ll Get You Laid Tonight
Health care professionals are notoriously sleep-deprived, irritable, and unsexy creatures who roam the hospital floors. It is no wonder that these people, who have...
Valentine’s Day Tease: Stethoscopes in Sexy Positions
WARNING: The following images of sexy stethoscopes in suggestive positions are appropriate only for health care providers older than the age of 18. (Click...
So You Dropped Your Pager into the Toilet, What to Do Next
You're on-call, but before sh*t hits the fan, you hit the toilet. Just when you're pulling up your pants or fixing your belt, you...
Program Director Elated Residency Will Completely Fill This Year with Multiple Candidates Announcing His...
TOLEDO, OH - Program Director of Internal Medicine Dr. Marcus Jones is ecstatic his program will fully match this year with the large amount...
ACGME Now Restricting Patient Hours, Cites Long Stays Not Helping Residents Learn
CHICAGO, IL – ACGME released recommendations yesterday that inpatients now have a hospital hour restriction. “We thought it was about time to limit the...