Sunday, May 5, 2024
tricarboxylic acid cycle TCA cycle dying patients kreb cycle

Med Student Knows Krebs Cycle, Whoop-De-Doo

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LAS VEGAS, NV - Not that Gomerblog or anyone else gives a sh*t, but second-year University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) medical student Karen Weaselsnout-Jones apparently knows the Krebs cycle inside and out.  Yeah....

Army Medical Student Disappointed to Hear Apache II Score Has Nothing to Do with...

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Third year medical student and prior helicopter pilot, Tim McGrowler, was disappointed to find out that the APACHE II has nothing to do with helicopters.  “I was getting excited on rounds when...

Medical Specialties as Disney Characters

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Anesthesia - Rafiki from The Lion King. Most of the rest of us have no clue what the hell you are doing with all the beeps and knobs and when we look it never...
graham crackers 1981 Nabisco vintage

Hangry Intern Opens Up Vintage Packet of Graham Crackers from 1981

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Figuring that there was no better time to celebrate than during this particular overnight call, University of California, San Francisco (UCSF) surgical intern Jose Rioja has decided to open up a...

Breaking News: THE PATIENT POOPED!!!

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DURHAM, NC - HE POOPED!!!!  OMG!!!  Thank heavens!  GomerBlog can’t believe the news we’re about to deliver!  But he did it!  HE DID IT!!!  He pooped!  The patient in room 423 at Durham Medical...

Breaking: Medical Student Faints on Rounds, No One Cares

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - During vascular surgery rounds this morning, a medical student fainted in a patient’s room, and no one cared. “On the vascular surgery service, it is the medical student’s job to get...

Pharmacology Course Cancelled After Study Suggests It Influences Med Students’ Future Prescribing Behavior

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WASHINGTON, DC—Citing new research from the Pharmaceutical Research & Manufacturers of America (PhRMA) that indicates physicians prescribe drugs they learned about in medical school at a far higher rate than those they did not,...

Medical Students Horrified to Learn That All Patients Die, Eventually

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PHARMA, OH - A lone tear splashed to the floor, followed by a steady trickle as the residents tried to console the sobbing medical students.  "We saved his life," whimpered one snot-faced student.  "By the end...
post call resident

Hospital Quarantine Ended After Horrifying Smell from Post-Call Resident Deemed ‘Non-Toxic’

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FAR ROCKAWAY, NY - A 24-hour quarantine of 18 medical students and 15 interns was called off after CDC officials confirmed that the fumes experienced at rounds this morning in fact came from a...

The Updated Hippocratic Oath for Health Care Professionals

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I swear by Epic Hyperspace, by eCW, by Allscripts, by AthenaHealth, and by all the Coders and Accountants, making them my witnesses, that I will carry out, according to my ability and judgment, this...