Dystonia (Disturbia)
What’s wrong with me?
Why am I doing this?
I’m moving crazy now
I wake up in my bed
Can't even get it started
Clenching tight, so widespread
Can't even...
After 9 Head Trauma Calls, The Doctor is ‘Furious’
BATTLE CREEK, MI – Family doctor, William Turncoat, was visibly upset after slamming the phone down. "That’s the ninth time today I’ve told her… I tell...
Not Quite: Intern Claims Champagne Tap After Sticking Bottle of Moët & Chandon
BOSTON, MA - An intern’s initial excitement was quickly reeled in after his team pointed out that sticking a spinal needle through cork of...
Joint Commission Releases New Hunger Pain Scale
CHICAGO, IL - Gomerblog has just received word, in fact several words, that the Joint Commission will put forth a new hunger pain scale....
Hospitalist Consults PT to Assess Unsteady Gate
VININGS, GA - Concerned that it is now high risk and a fall is imminent, hospitalist Martin Halvorson has asked if physical therapy (PT)...
Study: Titty Twist Better Pain Stimulus Than Sternal Rub
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Citing expert opinion and personal experience, the American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has put forth new recommendations on the pain stimulus...
Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds
ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published...
Study Finds Puppies, Ice Cream, New Toys Associated with Immediate Cessation of Pediatric Pseudoseizures
PORTLAND, OR – Researches at the Triarbridge Pediatric Medical Center in North Portland reported recent findings today from their groundbreaking study which found pediatric...
Alarming Study Finds Malignant Brain Cancers Appear on Side of Cell Phone Use
BOSTON, MA - A new multi-center randomized study to be published next week in Medicine found that a whopping 52.4% (+/- 3.67% with p-value 0.02) of brain cancers are...
Thor Spotted Crushing Reflexes with Mighty Hammer
ASGARD – According to witnesses, Thor, Norse God of Thunder, was recently spotted at a local hospital crushing patellar tendons with his mighty new...