Saturday, July 10, 2021

Nursing Student

Nursing student satire

Half Slice of Cake Left for Night Shift

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Keeping with longstanding tradition, med-surg dayshift nurses consumed all the break room cake except for half of a slice. “Thank you to all the doctors and the nurses on both day and night shift who...

Meet the New Hospital Swiss Army Commode

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FORT LAUDERDALE, FL – The makers of the Swiss Army Knife, Victorinox, appears to have hit a home run with patients and providers this week with the introduction of their new product, the Swiss...
nurse smiling

Nurse Confesses She’s Just In It To Get Yelled At

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AUSTIN, TX - Nurse Regan Ludwig recently admitted to ABC News that she works incredibly hard as a nurse because she just loves getting yelled at.  From 7 am to 7 pm, the job...

ER’s New Dilaudid Salt Lick, Admissions Down 90%

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SACRAMENTO, CA - Sutter Health System is changing the game.  In a world of overcrowded ERs and the inability to triage efficiently, new innovations must be considered.  Sutter Health instituted a Dilaudid Salt Lick™ to...
Halloween costume

Nurses Fired Over Grim Reaper Halloween Costumes

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HOUSTON, TX - Two Nurses were relieved of duty on Friday at Good Samaritan Mercy Hospital for dressing up as The Grim Reaper during their ICU shift. Hospital administrator Emily Randalson was furious: “They broke our...
Fourth of July

Special Pyxis to Dispense American Flags & Flair

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FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA, AMERICA - Hospitals and clinics across this great land of ours will be using special Pyxis machines to dispense American flags and flair to all patients hospitalized and all health...
laughter best medicine Ativan

Breaking: Ativan is the Best Medicine, Laughter Falls to Sixth

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BOSTON, MA - Is laughter the best medicine?  Not any more.  According to a new poll of physicians and other medical providers published in the New England Journal of Medicine, Ativan is the best medicine with laughter falling...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Finding Hypodermic Needles in a Haystack

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says there is minimal risk associated with the search for a regular needle in a haystack, but that Americans should absolutely draw the line...

STAT Officially Means “Maybe”

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Ever wonder why your 8 AM stat blood draw hasn’t been done even though it’s now 7 PM the next day?  Now we know.  Earlier this morning the Institute of Phlebotomy...
mimosa

Night Shift Nurse Associates Sunrise with Mimosas

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28-year-old nightshift nurse Rene Wilkins has come to appreciate sunrise for several reasons, one to include drinking multiple mimosas at John’s Breakfast Hut at 8am. “Growing up I used to hate sunrise!” proclaimed Wilkins.  “Typically...