Nursing Student

Nursing student satire

nursing diagnosis

American Nurses Association Pulls the Plug on Nursing Diagnosis

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WASHINGTON, DC - After a close 38-to-35 vote, the leaders of the American Nurses Association (ANA) voted to eliminate the nursing diagnosis from nursing...
caps lock

NURSE SUSPENDED FOR WRITING NOTES IN CAPS LOCK

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NORFOLK, VA - NURSE AMANDA HAN WAS SUSPENDED EARLY THIS MORNING BY HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATION FOR THE SAME OFFENSE YET AGAIN: ALWAYS WRITING HER NOTES...

April Fools! This Nurse Was Assigned Only 1 New Admit, Turns Out It Was...

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SACRAMENTO, CA - When Nurse Shannon came to work today, she was assigned to only one admit.  "Are we slow?" Shannon thought as to...
urine catheter

Forgot-to-Pee Syndrome Afflicting Millions of Health Care Workers

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Journal of the American National Society, Committee, and Association of Urinary Retention and Other Things Too (JANSCAUROTT) estimates that nearly...

Scrubs Teaches Us That “Everything Comes Down to Poo”

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In the "My Musical" episode of Scrubs, we learn that no matter, whatever a patient suffers from, EVERYTHING comes down to poo!  Watch this clip...
angry patient

Massachusetts Hospitals to Restrict “A**hole to Nurse” Ratio

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BOSTON, MA - Although a ballot question proposing stricter nurse-to-patient ratios was defeated in the Massachusetts midterm elections in November, hospitals are taking initiative...

Nurse Enters the Cave of Wonders, Finds Infamous Resident Genie

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On her Saturday shift, Anne looked unusually ecstatic.  This is the same Anne who usually has a frown on her face and is looking...

Local ER Offering Pain Meds Freebased, or Heated on a Spoon and Injected

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NORFOLK, VA – Local ER is now offering patients the option of their pain medication freebased or heated on a spoon and injected.  “We...
Nursing Pages Per Shift

New Study: Physician Douche Level Correlates With Number Of Nursing Pages Per Shift

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HARTFORD, CT - A new study published in JAMA this week demonstrated a direct correlation between the physician douche level (PDL) and and the number...
UberGURNEY

Uber Offers In-Hospital Patient Transport with UberGURNEY

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Uber’s success knows no bounds. After infiltrating cities across the world with their groundbreaking online-based transportation service, Uber is infiltrating...