New IV Pumps Have Silence Button Lasting 24 Hours
GREENVILLE, SC - Hailing it as 2019's best new medical invention, a new IV pump by Shmalaris is like any other competitor's IV pump...
Jealous of Nurses Week, Hospital Administrators Plan to Create Administrators Week
ATLANTA, GA - Jealous of all the attention registered nurses (RNs) have received during Nurses Week, hospital administrators nationwide are hoping to create an...
Uber Offers In-Hospital Patient Transport with UberGURNEY
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Uber’s success knows no bounds. After infiltrating cities across the world with their groundbreaking online-based transportation service, Uber is infiltrating...
Nurse Flushes Family of Squirtles Out of Blocked Foley Catheter
BURLINGTON, IA – A nurse at nearby Mercy Hospital was stunned to find out that her patient’s foley catheter obstruction had been caused by...
New Study: Physician Douche Level Correlates With Number Of Nursing Pages Per Shift
HARTFORD, CT - A new study published in JAMA this week demonstrated a direct correlation between the physician douche level (PDL) and and the number...
Nurses Required to Take Swim Test After Nurse Drowns in the Float Pool
KEARNEY, NE - Staff at Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH) were saddened to learn that a long-time nurse Lara Kennedy drowned in the nursing float...
Thai Cave Divers to Locate Obese Patient’s Genitals
KEARNEY, NE - With options dwindling, all hopes rest on the heroic divers who saved the boys in Thailand to locate a 600-lb. man’s...
After Successful Renovation, New Call Room is Now Optimized to Cause Full-On Depression
JACKSONVILLE, FL - Convinced that being on-call isn't difficult enough in its own right, hospital administrators at Jacksonville Medical Center have successfully completed renovation of its...