Thai Cave Divers to Locate Obese Patient’s Genitals
KEARNEY, NE - With options dwindling, all hopes rest on the heroic divers who saved the boys in Thailand to locate a 600-lb. man’s...
New Study: Physician Douche Level Correlates With Number Of Nursing Pages Per Shift
HARTFORD, CT - A new study published in JAMA this week demonstrated a direct correlation between the physician douche level (PDL) and and the number...
CDC Recommends Not Tying Gown in Back to Promote Airflow Through Ass Crack
ATLANTA, GA - After a thorough review of the evidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) will make the formal recommendation that...
Tips for Patients: How to Use a Call Light
Nurses are incredibly busy. And by busy we mean doing endless charting. So much so that they're contractually not allowed to eat or urinate....
Surgeon Rips on Nurses, Hospitalists, and ER Docs, and Twitter Delivers a Massive Takedown
TWITTERVERSE - A colorectal surgeon posted a rant about the care he received in an odd location "Psychology Today." The rant, which since has...
Charting Suspended, Call Lights Disabled, Bathroom Breaks Okayed for National Nurses Week
SILVER SPRING, MD – To celebrate National Nurses Week from May 6 to May 12 this year, hospitals and clinics across the country are...
NASA Nurses Still Awaiting Callback from Extraterrestrial Docs
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Saying it's been well over 45 minutes since they had sent the pages, nurses at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration...
Debtflix: View School Debt On-Demand Anytime, Anywhere
LOS GATOS, CA - Netflix, a leading provider of subscription-based on-demand streaming media to over 70 million people worldwide, revealed a new service called...
Breaking: Nurse Successfully Resuscitates CPR Dummy Back to Human Life
NEW ORLEANS, LA - In some incredible news, critical care nurse Margie Casamento at Tulane Medical Center became the first health care practitioner to successful...
Forgot-to-Pee Syndrome Afflicting Millions of Health Care Workers
WASHINGTON, DC - The Journal of the American National Society, Committee, and Association of Urinary Retention and Other Things Too (JANSCAUROTT) estimates that nearly...