Tuesday, May 4, 2021

Nursing Student

Nursing student satire

sponge bath

New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”

CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside Raleigh now require nursing staff to provide a “happy ending”...
wound care don't care

Exhausted RN to Go Home with Home Health Services

FORT MYERS, FL - Deconditioned, weak, and perpetually hypoglycemic from such a prolonged hospital shift, exhausted RN Catherine Weal will be sent home with home health services. "It was...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop

EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes mid-poop that there is no toilet paper (TP) in his...
signout mood graph

New Infographic Depicts the Mood of Two People Signing Out to One Another

JACKSON HOLE, WY - After observing thousands of signouts over the past 12 months, Gomerblog has constructed a graph depicting the mood of health care professionals depending on their role during the signout process....

Former United Security Guard Landed on Feet as Nurse-Assaulting Cop

SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Former United Security Guard and all-around jerk-face Jeff Payne was very concerned he wouldn't be able to find employment after all the bad publicity he got when he knocked out...

Scrubs Teaches Us That “Everything Comes Down to Poo”

In the "My Musical" episode of Scrubs, we learn that no matter, whatever a patient suffers from, EVERYTHING comes down to poo!  Watch this clip and we dare you not to sing along! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsVgi8hoFFc  
urine catheter

Forgot-to-Pee Syndrome Afflicting Millions of Health Care Workers

WASHINGTON, DC - The Journal of the American National Society, Committee, and Association of Urinary Retention and Other Things Too (JANSCAUROTT) estimates that nearly 1 million medical providers are not only afflicted but also...
nurses bench press

As Americans Get Fatter, Nursing Recruits More Football Players and Weightlifters

ATLANTA, GA — An old joke asks, “What do you call a nurse with a bad back?” The punchline is “unemployed.” As Americans get fatter, nurses struggle to lift and position the behemoths they...
big sur Mother Nature

Pacific Coast Highway Closed After Mother Nature Has Large Bowel Movement

BIG SUR, CA - A massive landslide that buried a quarter mile of California's scenic Pacific Coast Highway last week has been attributed to a large bowel movement on behalf of Mother Nature. "We initially thought...

Nurses’ Poker Tournament Cancelled Due to Cardiac Arrest

SEATTLE, WA - In a disappointing turn of events, nurses were forced to cancel their weekly poker tournament when a patient unexpectedly went into cardiac arrest. The patient, who was brought in...