Friday, March 29, 2024

Nursing Student

Nursing student satire

call room

After Successful Renovation, New Call Room is Now Optimized to Cause Full-On Depression

0
JACKSONVILLE, FL - Convinced that being on-call isn't difficult enough in its own right, hospital administrators at Jacksonville Medical Center have successfully completed renovation of its call room such that is "as devoid of hope as ever"...
TLC

Sign Out: Patient Just Needs a Little TLC

0
ATLANTA, GA - A patient is transferring out of the medical intensive care unit today and, according to the MICU team, "just needs a little TLC" before being discharged home.
tatoo

Study Finds Needle Anxiety Worsens with Tattoos

0
BALTIMORE, MD - Johns Hopkins researchers published a shocking new study in this month's New England Journal of Medicine showing a correlation between the quantity, location, and type of tattoos on a patient's body...

Patients on Contact Precautions in Hospital, Now Required to Have Yellow Cart Outside of...

0
PHILADELPHIA, PA - A new mandate was recently passed that now requires ALL patients that were in contact precautions in the hospital, must have a yellow contact precaution cart outside of their home after...
placement medicine

‘Hospital Medicine’ Renamed ‘Placement Medicine’

0
PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Society of Hospital Medicine (SHM) has announced that effective January 1, 2017, the specialty known as Hospital Medicine will be renamed Placement Medicine in order to best reflect current practices.  The...
nice patient endangered species

Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List

0
WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the National Academy of Medicine (NAM; formerly known as the Institute...

Updated 2016 Med/Surg Unit Inventory Guidelines

0
It’s that time of year to take inventory of what’s on our Med/Surg units.  These things are required for the quintessential Med/Surg experience.  Bust out those pens, if you haven’t lost them! 20 patients awaiting...
nurse mary penny

Cashier Who Criticized Nurse’s Appearance Fired Due to Rude Personality

0
Last week, Nurse Mary Penney was in line at a store when a cashier critiqued her appearance and found it surprising that she was able to hold a job at a nursing home.  Mary...
favorite sleeping positions

Which is Your Favorite Position to Guarantee a Good Night’s Sleep?

0
As for us at Gomerblog, it's split between the standing and knee-chest positions.  That's like choosing which twin you love!  In our opinion, there's something about the cool breeze teasing your anal sphincter that...
confused resident

MD Aware: Intern Disputes His Actually Being “Aware” in RN Note

0
CINCINNATI, OH - Emdee Awahray, an intern covering the general medicine floor overnight, has disputed the claim made by an RN in her overnight documentation note.  The RN, who wished not to be identified,...