Former United Security Guard Landed on Feet as Nurse-Assaulting Cop
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Former United Security Guard and all-around jerk-face Jeff Payne was very concerned he wouldn't be able to find employment after all the bad publicity he got when he knocked out...
Miracle on the Hudson: NYC Nurse Lands Foley in 600-Pound Female Patient
HUDSON VALLEY, NY - A miracle occurred on Saturday as Cathy Meyers, night shift RN at Hudson Valley Hospital, found herself staring at the wavering end of a fully-inflated Foley catheter. The catheter once...
Out of Mediums, Brave Nurse Grabs Small Gloves & Throws Caution to the Wind
RALEIGH, NC - It's one of the those scary scenarios every health care professional has faced at one time or another in their medical career: The box of latex gloves in your size is...
STAT Officially Means “Maybe”
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Ever wonder why your 8 AM stat blood draw hasn’t been done even though it’s now 7 PM the next day? Now we know. Earlier this morning the Institute of Phlebotomy...
Rosetta Stone: OB/GYN Edition
ARLINGTON, VA - In an effort to boost sales, language software giant Rosetta Stone launches the first of a long line of medical language learning programs. Each medical specialty has its own vernacular which...
Valentine’s Day Tease: Stethoscopes in Sexy Positions
WARNING: The following images of sexy stethoscopes in suggestive positions are appropriate only for health care providers older than the age of 18. (Click to enlarge.)
Today is National Destroy Your Pyxis with a Sledgehammer Day
SILVER SPRING, MD - Nurses, it’s time to rejoice! The American Nurses Association (ANA) has officially declared today National Destroy Your Pyxis with a Sledgehammer Day!
“Nurses, report to your closest Pyxis machine!!!” announced the...
NASA Nurses Still Awaiting Callback from Extraterrestrial Docs
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Saying it's been well over 45 minutes since they had sent the pages, nurses at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) are still awaiting callbacks from any of several extraterrestrial...
Dior’s New Yellow Isolation Ballroom Gowns are Stunning
PARIS, FRANCE - In breaking news that has the fashion industry stirring, designers at Christian Dior are bringing style back into isolation rooms by replacing the boxy and boring isolation gowns of old with...
New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”
CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside Raleigh now require nursing staff to provide a “happy ending”...
