Sunday, May 12, 2024

Nursing Student

Nursing student satire

call button nursing lockout interval

American Nurses Association Approves Call Lights with Lockout Intervals

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SILVER SPRING, MD - In an effort to bolster nursing satisfaction, the American Nurses Association (ANA) have unanimously approved the replacement of current call lights with new and improved call lights with lockout intervals. "Nurses...
nightingale notes on nursing

Florence Nightingale’s Notes on Nursing 2016 Interpretation

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Florence Nightingale, "The Lady with the Lamp," is the modern founder of the nursing profession and wrote Notes on Nursing: What It Is and What It Is Not in 1859, which has become a...

It Took Over 3 Years, But ICU Team Finally Finishes Untangling All Those Lines

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SAN JOSE, CA - It took over 3 years and 7 months to do, but the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Holy Cross Hospital is ecstatic to report that it has finally untangled all...
golden bladder award

Hero Nurse Wins the Coveted Golden Bladder Award

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MOUNT CARMEL, PA - Local ER nurse Jada Adams was recently recognized for her uncanny ability to retain large amounts of urine in her bladder for long periods of time.  Jada’s amazing skill came...
empty toner cartridge

Nurse Assigned to Shake Empty Toner Cartridge Every 5 Minutes

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LOUISVILLE, KY - As punishment for not charting a respiratory rate other than 16, first-year nurse Randy Tolbert has been relegated from patient care to standing by the printer at the nurses station and...

ER’s New Dilaudid Salt Lick, Admissions Down 90%

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SACRAMENTO, CA - Sutter Health System is changing the game.  In a world of overcrowded ERs and the inability to triage efficiently, new innovations must be considered.  Sutter Health instituted a Dilaudid Salt Lick™ to...
nurse eye roll

Breaking News: Nurse’s Eyes Get Stuck After Aggressive Eye Roll

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ORLANDO, FL - Beth Stanfield, a middle-aged nurse, was transported to the ophthalmology department earlier today when her eyes got stuck in an aggressive eye roll.  Colleagues reported that the veteran nurse had just...
stage 5 pressure ulcer wound dressing wound care don't care

Wound Care Nurse Calls Pressure Ulcer a Rare “Stage 5”

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BOSTON, MA - Nurse Amy Johnson has seen some pretty bad sacral decubitus ulcers in her long career as a wound care nurse, but this new consult takes the cake.  In her own words,...
nurses drinking wine

News in Brief: Medication IV Pump Coincidentally Runs Out at Change of Shift

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DALLAS, TX – Nurses on Mercy Hospital’s floor 4, med-surg unit, are perplexed.  "The Alaris pumps seem to always run out 20 minutes after change of shift," charge nurse Nancy Lungrum told reporters.  Nobody...