The Michael Jordan of Interns Retires After Curing His 6th Patient
CLEVELAND, OH - We all know Dr. Mark Jeffries by now. He is the Michael Jordan of interns. Setting records by storm, Jeffries has set the medical world on fire. As an intern at the Cleveland...
New ACS Recommendations for CRC Screening Forces Anesthesia to Bear the Burden of Providing...
On May 30, 2018, the American Cancer Society announced that it will be updating its colorectal cancer screening guideline such that all adults age 45 rather than 50 years will be eligible for a...
Medical Student Draws Blood for the First Time, Prefers Using Markers Over Crayon
In a rural hospital in West Virginia, Vance Agarwal a fourth year medical student nearing the end of a rural medicine elective had the opportunity to draw blood for the first time. Under the...
Breaking: Urinary Bladder Placed on Trial for Voiding
ATLANTA, GA - "This voiding trial has begun!" Judge Emerson Rhodes III told a full-capacity, overly-distended courtroom in downtown Atlanta as he called order with his gavel at 8:45 AM this morning.
In what is...
Nurse O.J. Simpson Can’t Ever Get a Glove to Fit
BRENTWOOD, CA - Geez, O.J. Simpson just can't get a break! He has been asked over and over again to go into a patient's room, but there are no gloves that fit him! They...
ACGME Limits Resident Work Hours to 168 Per Week
CHICAGO, IL - In an effort to increase resident satisfaction and curb the current epidemic of burnout in health care professionals, the Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) has published new guidelines to...
Apple to Introduce New Surgical Gown 7 with No Sleeves
CUPERTINO, CA - Apple Medical just announced their new line of OR gear for the new year: iSurgicalGown 7. This new line takes a sharp turn from their old model by the elimination of sleeves.
"This...
Clinic Nurse and Doctor Suffer Burnout, Spontaneously Combust
MIAMI, FL - Staff at Miami Health Clinic are mourning the loss of two well-loved and respected colleagues, Nurse Michelle Boosh and Dr. George Sssshblamm, after both tragically burned out and spontaneously combusted during...
CCU Staff Tests Limit of Foley Bag, Bomb Robot Deployed to Empty It
WASHINGTON, DC - The product insert in the Foley kits at George Washington hospital claim that the bags will hold up to five liters of urine. Critical care unit (CCU) nurse Joe Samuels decided...
Joint Commission Mandates Extensive Timeout Prior to Initiating CPR
SAN ANTONIO, TX - Citing the shocking incidence of "never event" wrong-sided CPR (commonly known as WroSC), the Joint Commission issued new guidelines today mandating a 42-step timeout prior to the initiation of CPR...