CDC: Stop Using Purulent Speculums as Tongue Depressors
ATLANTA, GA - Disturbed by a surge in case reports driven by medical providers who are either short on equipment or just extremely lazy,...
Patient in Room 3 Worried After Code Blues in 1, 2, 4 & 5
ATLANTA, GA - “Oh God oh God oh God!” is what Tim McConnell said to himself in a fit of paranoia after a fourth...
ICU Patient Accidentally Sent to Morgue After Nurses Fail to Address ‘Plan for Today’...
CHICAGO, IL - Investigators at East Hope Memorial Hospital in Chicago are "sickened" by new findings in a neglect case involving an ICU patient. Reports...
Patient Can’t Wait to Yank Out Foley, Cause Bloodbath
ATLANTA, GA - In exciting news today, patient Arnold Starks has announced that later today he will yank out his Foley with "full force...
Restaurant Patrons Sickened After Eavesdropping on Medical Professionals During Meal
HAMDEN, CT - It was a chaotic scene at the local 24-hour diner as a mass casualty incident (MCI) requiring the response of multiple...
American Nurses Association Approves Call Lights with Lockout Intervals
SILVER SPRING, MD - In an effort to bolster nursing satisfaction, the American Nurses Association (ANA) have unanimously approved the replacement of current call...
Mysterious Squiggly Line on Monitor Does Not Actually Correlate with Patient’s Biophysical Data
Recent events in the CICU at riverside Methodist left staff nurse Andy Long perplexed about the respiratory lead from the patient mr Rawlings in...
Monty Python Teaches Us About Birth & Administration
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life came out in 1983. Yet this classic scene, "Part I - The Miracle of Birth," still rings loud and...
Hospital Unveils Pain Scale That Goes to Eleven
VANCOUVER, BC - In the movie This is Spinal Tap, guitarist Nigel Tufnel proudly shows off an amplifier that turns up to eleven instead...
Nurse Confesses She’s Just In It To Get Yelled At
AUSTIN, TX - Nurse Regan Ludwig recently admitted to ABC News that she works incredibly hard as a nurse because she just loves getting...