Thursday, April 25, 2024

Nursing

April Fools! This Nurse Was Assigned Only 1 New Admit, Turns Out It Was...

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SACRAMENTO, CA - When Nurse Shannon came to work today, she was assigned to only one admit.  "Are we slow?" Shannon thought as to refrain from saying such horrid words aloud.  APRIL FOOLS! Her...

Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult

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If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked.  It is the end of the day and all you want to do is go home but where...
PA

PA Furious for Being Mistaken for Nurse, Struggles to Explain She’s Not a Physician

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CHICAGO, IL - Physician assistant (PA) Susan Jonesby was doing morning discharge planning for her employer Galen-Vaselius Orthopaedics when tragedy of unimaginable proportions ruined her day.  While entering the room of her 86-year-old patient...

Miss Colorado Goes on “The View” Wearing Contact Precautions

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NEW YORK, NY - Recently Joy Baher and her The View colleagues disrespected Miss Colorado, Kelly Johnson RN, and her talent of nursing.   Nursing, a much more viable, practical, and harder talent than baton twirling,...
urine catheter

Forgot-to-Pee Syndrome Afflicting Millions of Health Care Workers

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Journal of the American National Society, Committee, and Association of Urinary Retention and Other Things Too (JANSCAUROTT) estimates that nearly 1 million medical providers are not only afflicted but also...
social worker

New Social Worker Way More Social Than She is a Worker

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NEW YORK, NY - It hasn’t taken long for health care providers at Mount Sinai Hospital to realize that Amanda Johnson, a new social worker hired just last month, is way more social than she...
icu patient

ICU Patient Accidentally Sent to Morgue After Nurses Fail to Address ‘Plan for Today’...

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CHICAGO, IL - Investigators at East Hope Memorial Hospital in Chicago are "sickened" by new findings in a neglect case involving an ICU patient.  Reports are circulating that an ICU patient was accidentally sent to...
DNR

Medical Team Confused as Patient Made DNR Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Members of a multidisciplinary inpatient team at Tulane University left a family meeting this morning scratching their heads, as they honored their patient and family’s unusual wish to make the...
Foley, bloodbath

Patient Can’t Wait to Yank Out Foley, Cause Bloodbath

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ATLANTA, GA - In exciting news today, patient Arnold Starks has announced that later today he will yank out his Foley with "full force and maximum torque" and absolutely looks forward to the horrific...
emergency room

Breaking News: Ah Crap, You-Know-Who is Back in the ER

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YOUR HOSPITAL, YOUR CITY, YOUR STATE - Ah, crap.  GomerBlog is sad to report… GomerBlog really doesn’t want to tell you this.  But we feel it’s our duty, so here goes.  Don’t shoot the messenger....