Nursing

Orthopedic Surgeon Floods OR During Shoulder Arthroscopy

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OMAHA, NE - Officials from Hamton Hospital may have to implement new policies after an orthopedic surgeon inadvertently flooded out the operating room during a shoulder arthroscopy. “He kept asking for more irrigation or commenting...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop

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EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes mid-poop that there is no toilet paper (TP) in his...
estrogen toxicity

Estrogen Toxicity Spectrum Disorder

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A recent study by the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill has identified categorized the strange personality and behavior changes of male nursing students. Estrogen Toxicity Spectrum Disorder (ETSD) has been shown to...
nurse float pool

Nurses Required to Take Swim Test After Nurse Drowns in the Float Pool

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KEARNEY, NE - Staff at Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH) were saddened to learn that a long-time nurse Lara Kennedy drowned in the nursing float pool overnight. Local nurse Amy Lace was in shock, as...
divine intervention NPO after midnight miracle insurance authorization

God Makes Patient NPO After Midnight for Miracle in the Morning

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HEAVENS ABOVE - According to Gomerblog cherubs close to the All Powerful, God has informed nursing staff at Garden of Eden Medical Center to make patient Allyson Gerber NPO after midnight in preparation for a...
turkey sandwich haldol diets

Know Your Hospital Diets

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It can be confusing telling apart all those different hospital diets, so here's a primer to break down some of the most common ones. Clear Liquid Diet - This diet consists of transparent liquids: water,...
printer toner

Printer at Nurses Station Celebrates Its 10th Straight Year without Toner

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NASHVILLE, TN - Congratulations!  Today, the printer labelled prntr04 at the fourth floor nurses station in Saint Thomas Midtown Hospital is celebrating its 10th straight year without any toner. "Today is truly a momentous occasion, we cannot...

Mooch: G*ddamn Goals of Care Talk Went F**king Fabulous

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Former White House communications director Anthony "The Mooch" Scaramucci has told Gomerblog that an impromptu family meeting and "g*ddamn" goals of care discussion he ran earlier today went absolutely *f**king fabulous." "If...

It Took Over 3 Years, But ICU Team Finally Finishes Untangling All Those Lines

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SAN JOSE, CA - It took over 3 years and 7 months to do, but the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Holy Cross Hospital is ecstatic to report that it has finally untangled all...

Nurse Enters the Cave of Wonders, Finds Infamous Resident Genie

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On her Saturday shift, Anne looked unusually ecstatic.  This is the same Anne who usually has a frown on her face and is looking for reasons to tear the medical students and residents apart....