Ebola Now Airborne, Nation Prepares
ATLANTA, GA - Ebola, the most deadly disease known to man, was confirmed to be airborne by the CDC after an extensive investigation of...
CDC Official: I Want You to Think Really Hard as You Personally Battle Ebola
Hi. I work for the CDC and I was assigned to your case I traveled from Atlanta as soon as I heard the news....
CDC Releases Revised Ebola Management Policy for Healthcare Workers: Just Burn Everything
WASHINGTON, DC – In the wake of the infection by Ebola of Nurse Nina Pham, who had cared for the first victim of that...
Joint Commission Mandates All Patients Be Known As Bob
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission today released new guidelines for protecting patient privacy. The guidelines mandate that all hospitalized patients be known...
Big Pharma Admits They’re Just Trying to Kill Everybody with Vaccines
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what is being hailed as a huge victory for the anti-vaccine movement, Big Pharma announced to the world today that they've...
Physicians Excited to Find Out Bundled Payments Are Literally Just Bundles of Cash
BALTIMORE, MD - In breaking news today, the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) reported that they are continuing their push toward bundled payments...
Entrance of New Children’s Hospital to Feature Adorable Animal Footprints Leading Families Directly to...
DALLAS, TX - As construction continues on the new 300-bed children’s hospital here, officials today announced some exciting design details to the general public. According...
Product Review: Mattel’s Resuscitate Me Elmo
Pros / Thanks to his lovable and playful interactions, Resuscitate Me Elmo makes it ridiculously easy and fun to learn cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).
Cons /...
Hospital Administrator Delivers Clutch Performance During In-Flight Cardiac Arrest
DENVER, CO - Passengers and crew are counting themselves fortunate tonight as their United Airlines flight from Los Angeles to Chicago made an emergency landing...
Joint Commission Cites Itself as a Major Hindrance to Medical Care
CHICAGO, IL - This past Thursday, the Joint Commission officially cited itself as a major obstacle for patient care and safety. The Joint Commission released in...