CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

COVID-19: CDC Says “We’re Totally Effed” in a Zombie Apocalypse

0
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) says they're not trying to be curt but if we can't deal with COVID-19 then "we're totally effed" in a zombie apocalypse. "With the...
Sudoku

COVID-19: Self-Quarantined Anesthesiologist Running Dangerously Low on Sudoku Supplies

0
BIRMINGHAM, AL - An area anesthesiologist who is currently 3 days into his 14-day self-imposed quarantine behind a drape fort is unusually anxious and on edge as he is facing the stark reality that...
orthopedic surgeon ortho spelling bee WBAT sticks & stones

COVID-19 Update: Orthopods Suspend Bro Hugs for 60 Days

0
NEW YORK, NY - First, Italy went on lockdown. Then March Madness was canceled; the NBA and NHL suspended their seasons. Now Gomerblog has learned in a breaking development the nation's army...

FDA Streamlines Drug Approvals by Eliminating Cumbersome Process of Reviewing Evidence

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A new report published in JAMA (Journal Against Medical Advice) found the Food and Drug Administration's plan to streamline the process of approving drugs has been made possible by removing the...
vanc Zosyn

ID to Prescribe Way More Vanc & Zosyn in 2020

0
ARLINGTON, VA - Gomerblog is thrilled to report that the Infectious Diseases Society of America (IDSA) has officially revealed their New Year's Resolution, and it is to prescribe way more vancomycin & Zosyn (piperacillin-tazobactam)...
paper cuts

ERs Overwhelmed by Life-Threatening, Wrapping Paper-Related Paper Cuts

0
EVERYWHERE, UNITED STATES - What should be a Christmas morning filled with celebration and cheer has turned to horror and bloodshed: life-threatening wrapping paper-related paper cuts have sent millions of Americans to emergency departments,...
Santa hat

Wearing Santa Hat Not Curative for Burnout, Career Dissatisfaction

0
BOSTON, MA - A new study published in a special Christmas edition of the New England Journal of Burnout has unfortunately found that wearing a Santa hat on Christmas Day is not curative of...

Santa Just Giving Everyone Influenza B for Christmas

0
NORTH POLE - He himself quarantined up in the North Pole at his wife's insistence, Santa is just bagging it in and giving every man, woman & child, good or bad, influenza B for...
washing hands

IDSA Recommends Washing Hands Before & After Washing Hands

0
ARLINGTON, VA - Citing it as the best intervention to prevent the spread of infections in the health care setting, the Infectious Diseases Society of America (IDSA) recommends health care professionals wash their hands...
burned out physician

Patient Care Cited as Major Hindrance to Workflow

0
ATLANTA, GA - In a new study by the Centers of Disease Control & Prevention (CDC), patient care as been cited as the single major hindrance to workflow and possibly the greatest contributor to...