Tuesday, May 14, 2024

Colorectal

Colorectal surgery satire articles

colonoscopy

Hamburglar Diagnosed with Colon Cancer

0
MCDONALDLAND - In sad news today, the Hamburglar, who amused children for years with his antics and unstoppable desire for hamburgers, was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. This is yet another health setback...
screening for cancer

TSA to Start Screening for Colorectal Cancer at Airports

23
ATLANTA, GA – U.S. government officials said on Thursday that they would start screening patients for unintentional weight loss and bloody stools, starting with Hartsfield-Jackson International (ATL) airport this coming weekend, in an effort...
recto-retriever

Recto-Retriever Approved for Personal Use

34
COLUMBIA, SC - Proctologic Inc. announces the release of its new product, the Recto-Retriever.  The Recto-Retriever is an amazing, thrilling, and versatile tool that boasts multiple uses in retrieving various objects from assorted body...
pot of coffee

Maroon 5 Admitted to Hospital with 5 Maroon Stools

24
LOS ANGELES, CA - Maroon 5 is hospitalized at UCLA Medical Center after collectively experiencing 5 maroon-colored stools, including lead singer and NBC’s The Voice coach Adam Levine.  Thankfully, all band members are in...

Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean

0
Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life in the hospital, Livin La Vida Locum, M.D. shares the...

Most Popular Medical Questions of 2016 by State

0
2016 is complete, and we combed through the data at Google to find out what were the most popular medical questions asked by state (click the map to enlarge): What is New England's obsession with...

Endangered VA System Named 60th U.S. National Park

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to preserve one of the United States' most endangered areas for future generations, President Obama signed a law making the Veterans Health Administration (VA) the 60th National Park...
meatball sub

New Extreme weight loss surgery: total gastric intestinal bypass

0
All that “digestion and absorption is so overrated” Weight loss surgery has gained popularity, although success rates are no where near 100%. Patients have been asking for more effective types of weight loss surgeries, especially...

Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

0
Ad text Actual meaning Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital   The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and the cost of that new fountain in the lobby will...

Mom Still Cleaning Up After Surgeon Son

0
NAPLES, FL - A recent phenomenon in an operating room (OR) at Mary Mother Hospital has caught quite the buzz.  Dr. Roger Messi was going about his daily routine performing his third surgery when...