Colorectal

Colorectal surgery satire articles

Medical Researcher Belatedly Realizes His Paper Was Published in The Anals of Internal Medicine

6
DES MOINES, IA – With dawning horror, local medical researcher Dr. Clint Malloy realized he had been mistaken to believe his recent paper was accepted...

SpaceX Announces Self-Retrieving Video Capsule Endoscopy

0
Elon Musk’s rocket company SpaceX announced Tuesday that it will be entering the medical device market with the roll out of the Falciform 9,...
colonoscopy

Hamburglar Diagnosed with Colon Cancer

0
MCDONALDLAND - In sad news today, the Hamburglar, who amused children for years with his antics and unstoppable desire for hamburgers, was diagnosed with...

Endangered VA System Named 60th U.S. National Park

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to preserve one of the United States' most endangered areas for future generations, President Obama signed a law...
em physician

45-Year-Old EM Physician Reflects Back Upon 4.0 GPA in College While Manually Disimpacting Patient

98
PENDELTON, IN - Departmental Emergency Medicine Chief Dr. Glenn Henderson was seen staring off into space daydreaming on Monday morning, while digitally disimpacting a 90-year-old nursing home...
meatball sub

New Extreme weight loss surgery: total gastric intestinal bypass

0
All that “digestion and absorption is so overrated” Weight loss surgery has gained popularity, although success rates are no where near 100%. Patients have been...

Area LEGO Man Admitted with Bright Red Blocks Per Rectum

0
LEGOLAND, FL - An area LEGO man is in serious condition at LEGOLAND Medical Center after he presented to the emergency department (ED) with...

General Surgeon Moves Clinic to Operating Room, Cites Excessive Patient Consciousness

0
CEDAR RAPIDS, IA – Jacob Townsend, a 53-year-old general surgeon, has decided to permanently move his clinic to the operating room due to ongoing...
recto-retriever

Recto-Retriever Approved for Personal Use

34
COLUMBIA, SC - Proctologic Inc. announces the release of its new product, the Recto-Retriever.  The Recto-Retriever is an amazing, thrilling, and versatile tool that...

Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

0
Ad text Actual meaning Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital   The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and...