Colorectal

Colorectal surgery satire articles

SpaceX Announces Self-Retrieving Video Capsule Endoscopy

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Elon Musk’s rocket company SpaceX announced Tuesday that it will be entering the medical device market with the roll out of the Falciform 9,...
confused doctor

Attending Physician Stranded in Clinic Without a Resident: A Tale of Survival

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ST. LOUIS, MO – It was 9 AM on a Thursday morning and each clinic room was full in Dr. Tone’s colorectal clinic. “Sir, the...

Unprepared Patient Cramming for Tomorrow’s Rectal Exam

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AUBURN, AL - Forever the procrastinator, nervous and unprepared patient Johnny Sanders has started cramming for tomorrow's rectal exam in the hopes he can...
em physician

45-Year-Old EM Physician Reflects Back Upon 4.0 GPA in College While Manually Disimpacting Patient

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PENDELTON, IN - Departmental Emergency Medicine Chief Dr. Glenn Henderson was seen staring off into space daydreaming on Monday morning, while digitally disimpacting a 90-year-old nursing home...
abdomen

NIH Close to Uncovering Elusive Fifth Abdominal Quadrant

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BETHESDA, MD - Sensing a breakthrough is imminent, scientists at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) have publicly announced they are indeed very close...
radiologist reading

Radiologist Reports His Dictations in Haiku Form

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Dr. Gerald Wong, a veteran radiologist with 5 months before his retirement, was interviewed yesterday by E.J. Weekly on how his new style of...
Da Vinci, Bowser, Super Mario Bros

Da Vinci on Quest to Rescue Princess Toadstool

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WORLD 2-4, MUSHROOM KINGDOM - We have just received word that the Da Vinci Surgical Robot has embarked on a quest to save Princess...

Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

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Ad text Actual meaning Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital   The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and...
pot of coffee

Maroon 5 Admitted to Hospital with 5 Maroon Stools

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Maroon 5 is hospitalized at UCLA Medical Center after collectively experiencing 5 maroon-colored stools, including lead singer and NBC’s The...

Badass Surgeon Performs Whipple While in Tuxedo

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AUSTIN, TX - The bar for badassery has been raised a notch, so surgeons take note: veteran general surgeon Bob Cooper has just completed...