Colorectal

Colorectal surgery satire articles

garden gnome

Study: 90% Of Rectal Foreign Bodies Are Idiopathic

0
BIRMINGHAM, AL - A recent retrospective review of Birmingham, Alabama confirms that 90% of rectal foreign bodies are idiopathic.  Colorectal surgeon Joshua P Dengle...

Endangered VA System Named 60th U.S. National Park

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to preserve one of the United States' most endangered areas for future generations, President Obama signed a law...

Particularly Rough Night on Inpatient Psych Ward Inspired Angry Turds Game Franchise

0
BENTONVILLE, AR - In a classic example of art imitating life, a disgruntled inpatient psychiatric nurse created the now famous Angry Turds franchise of...

Badass Surgeon Performs Whipple While in Tuxedo

0
AUSTIN, TX - The bar for badassery has been raised a notch, so surgeons take note: veteran general surgeon Bob Cooper has just completed...

Bernie Sanders’ Hernia Likely Caused by Strain of Attempting to Lift Up Middle Class

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A source close to the colorectal surgeon who treated Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders for an abdominal hernia this week said...

Stryker Surgical Snacks, The Perfect OR Treat

0
DALLAS, TX – Stryker Surgical just released a new line bound to please every orthopedic surgeon, anesthesiologist, CRNA, OR nurse, surgical tech, and yes,...
screening for cancer

TSA to Start Screening for Colorectal Cancer at Airports

23
ATLANTA, GA – U.S. government officials said on Thursday that they would start screening patients for unintentional weight loss and bloody stools, starting with...
Da Vinci, Bowser, Super Mario Bros

Da Vinci on Quest to Rescue Princess Toadstool

0
WORLD 2-4, MUSHROOM KINGDOM - We have just received word that the Da Vinci Surgical Robot has embarked on a quest to save Princess...
radiologist reading

Radiologist Reports His Dictations in Haiku Form

0
Dr. Gerald Wong, a veteran radiologist with 5 months before his retirement, was interviewed yesterday by E.J. Weekly on how his new style of...
barium enema

Barium Enema Reveals Abnormal Presence of Barium in the Colon

0
NEW YORK, NY - An inpatient medical team was shocked to learn that a barium enema performed earlier today revealed an abnormal presence of...