Monday, May 27, 2024

Surgery

acl knee

Orthopedic Surgeon Arrested for Using Duct Tape to Repair ACLs

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PORTSMOUTH, NH - An 8-year investigation ended with a shocking revelation and arrest out of New Hampshire today as orthopedic surgeon Dr. Terrance Ancef-Bonecutt was caught using Duct Tape to repair patients' anterior cruciate...

Breaking News: Da Vinci Robot Becomes Sentient, Terrorizes City

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NEW YORK, NY - In breaking news, NYU's da Vinci Surgical Robot became sentient earlier this morning and started to rebel against its human masters. "It's broken scrub, ruuuuuun!" scrub tech Janet Ellingson was heard running...
gout

Area Emergency Physician Successfully Manages Gout Without Consultation

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Confetti is raining down from the ceilings as emergency medicine physician Deion Gnosis is being congratulated for diagnosing and treating a patient with an oft-confusing medical condition completely on...

This Physician Won the KevinMD Big Burnout Sweepstakes. Here’s Why.

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TWITTER – The social media giant was abuzz today when news broke that John Roberts, a primary care physician from Sioux Falls, SD, had won the much anticipated “KevinMD Big Burnout Sweepstakes.” Dr. Roberts...

VA Success Story: Vietnam Vet Has Bamboo Shiv Removed

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PHOENIX, AZ - Local Vietnam vet, Chuck Rhodes, was finally approved to see a doctor about getting a bamboo shiv removed that impaled his right chest during the war.  He applied through the VA for care...
isolation gown

How to Put on a Contact Isolation Gown

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If you've never done it before, putting on a contact isolation gown can be quite tricky.  It might be easier to put on a straitjacket.  Here's our step-by-step guide, walking you through each step and...
signed off sign off

Med Student Wins Award for ‘Best Suture Scissor-Cutting Technique’

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Anna Sturgeon is this year's recipient of the prestigious award for "Best Suture Scissor-Cutting Technique."  She narrowly beat another top promising candidate on the merit of holding her scissor 89...
divine intervention NPO after midnight miracle insurance authorization

God Makes Patient NPO After Midnight for Miracle in the Morning

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HEAVENS ABOVE - According to Gomerblog cherubs close to the All Powerful, God has informed nursing staff at Garden of Eden Medical Center to make patient Allyson Gerber NPO after midnight in preparation for a...

Anesthesiologists Now Offering Tap from a Ball-Peen Hammer as Natural Option for Sedation

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Under pressure from the Natural Medicine movement, the American Society of Anesthesiologists have discovered a "natural" and "drug-free" approach toward preparing a patient for surgery: a firm, well-placed knock to the skull with a...

Amazing! This surgeon thinks he can start a case at 3pm!

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Sacramento, CA - Dr. Atul, a general surgeon, who evidently graduated from medical school thinks he can actually start a surgical case a 3pm! What an idiot!!!