
CHARLOTTE, NC – Bronco Products, Inc. is pleased to announce its revolutionary new ventilation product. PapPal is an amazingly simple device that allows those on mechanical ventilation, CPAP, BiPAP, or any oxygen delivery device to simultaneously and safely enjoy the delights and satisfactions of cigarette smoking.

Recent Press Ganey scores reflect dissatisfaction among hospitalized smokers for not being able to light up ad lib. Additional hospital wide bans on tobacco have further fueled this outrage. One prominent medical center in western North Carolina received numerous patient complaints regarding the prohibition of tobacco in its facility with the emerging theme of, “My COPD ain’t got nothin to do with smoking.” Other cancer and pulmonary patients echo similar complaints.
The problem has been how to allow patients with ventilator and mechanical assistance to safely and efficiently smoke whenever desired. The patented PapPal easily solves these problems with an efficient and safe venturi jet turbulator adapter which snaps directly into supply tubing of ventilators, CPAP, BiPAP, and virtually any oxygen delivery system (universal tubing and cigar adapters included).
Bronco Products engineers and researchers report superior smoke uptake when used on any oxygen delivery system utilizing PEEP, however PapPal delivers “remarkable” amounts of smoke with even a simple nasal cannula, according to Dr. John Perkins, a local pulmonologist. Efficiency of the PapPal has been quantified and verified in clinical trials by increased serum carboxyhemoglobin levels as well as increased patient satisfaction levels via HCAHPS surveys. PapPal may also be safely used on incentive spirometers with an optional adapter (not included).
Safety is always a concern when smoking in the presence of oxygen. And, although oxygen itself is not flammable, it is a high-energy gas that rapidly supports combustion. Bronco Products, Inc. has solved the problem of spontaneous ignition and explosion when used according to the manufacturer’s recommendations.
The patented venturi turbulator uses the actual oxygen pressure of the delivery device to inject a steady stream of rich tobacco smoke into the oxygenated supply tubing thereby never allowing the flame to come in contact with oxygen enhanced mixture. The makers of PapPal also include a handy laminated chart to estimate cigarette burn time according to PEEP settings and oxygen flow in liters per minute.
The remarkably efficient PapPal is available from most respiratory supply companies and all American tobacco companies without a prescription for home use. Many hospitals are now allowing patients to bring their own PapPal to use while hospitalized.
Tell your health care provider, surgeon, and hospitalist you just won’t be bullied by smoking cessation, bad-tasting nicotine replacement candies, or messy patches. Most insurance companies offer reimbursement for PapPal as it is a much cheaper alternative to Chantix or nicotine replacement adjuncts. Also, Broncho Products has applied for FDA approval using other smoking materials such as marijuana in those 23 U.S. states allowing its use.
Get your reasonably priced PapPal now and be prepared for your next hospital visit!
Haha! I am a Respiratory Therapist. For those of us dealing with smoking patient’s in the hospital- this in an awesome SATIRICAL article.
For each of the more than 5 million smokers who’ll smoke themselves to death this year 19 others are already living with a smoking related disease. Truth is, coming home is vastly easier and far more wonderful than your wanting for that next fix will suggest.
Technology=Fail
I hope they have to pay out of pocket for this!
Technology=Fail
I hope they have to pay out of pocket for this!
Some people will believe anything just because it’s on the internet…sad
Un.f’__ng.believable!
Patient satisfaction is our #1 priority! ;)
Only question is will nursing or respiratory be responsible for charting it on the computer and flow sheet and respiratory log?
We already use this in our hospital, works great!
Well that’s just sad….and stupid.
I keep thinking these are real articles…until I read them
They are actually PROUD of this?
Oooooooh! This is gonna be a HUGE hit with those dudes with trachs at the VA!
“Copd runs in my family, I can’t help that” *long drag*
You just lit my world in flames of pleasure.
Peoples’ outrage is the funniest part!
I can totally see someone inventing this.
What crap
Sherri Croston Jenkins!!!! :) hahahaha
Daniel Lazaro
Kristine Pearce
Shhh, ya ruin it for the rest of us.
You can’t fix stupid!!
what a lifesaver!!
what a lifesaver!!
That would take us full circle to the old anticholinergic cigarettes that one of my pharmacy professors kept as memorabilia! Yay for technology!!!!
That would take us full circle to the old anticholinergic cigarettes that one of my pharmacy professors kept as memorabilia! Yay for technology!!!!
What kind of Crap is this !!!
What kind of Crap is this !!!
Unbelievable
Now that would be stupid.
Oh awesome. Just what they need. On the bright side of addiction, the post surgical smokers are always the first to volunteer to ambulate. Gotta go get some “fresh air.”
Gotta love these!
And people thought they had to smoke through their trach hole.
Patient satisfaction scores skyrocket.
You all crack me up!!! Keep em coming!!!
It’s the Gomer blog, satire.
Scott Lancaster
This is awesome and terminated the need for familes to push patients and their vents all the way out into the parking lot to smoke.
Unreal.
This really is Patient Centered… Thank you!
Well it’s about time!
I’m gonna see about inventing this.
Wonder if they cover that under medicaid/medicare??
Press Ganey Approved
Awesome!
Medicaid approved!
This is genius…. Pair it with a rx for the atrovent-cigarette and we could manage our chronic pulmonary patients…. Easier?
Harlan Brick can we invest in this ???
Sad thing is, if it were real, the inventor would be rich, because you know it’d be a huge seller.
Why ask why?
Nooo freaking way….
Wtf???????
Jay Taylor
Brilliant invention!
And COPD’rs can elect to be intubated ! To smoke. Yay
And no need for a Tobacco cessation consult! !!!
Sarah Mj Wadesworld
Brittany Rankin
Bahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhaahhahahah!
Perfect yay for my copd pts!!!
Haha!
Why not vape?
OMG!
Kevin, have you seen this site?? It’s like the Onion for healthcare professionals. It’s pretty funny.
Too funny!!!
What!!!!!!!!?????????
Daniel, Alice