respiratory ventilator attachment
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CHARLOTTE, NC – Bronco Products, Inc. is pleased to announce its revolutionary new ventilation product.  PapPal is an amazingly simple device that allows those on mechanical ventilation, CPAP, BiPAP, or any oxygen delivery device to simultaneously and safely enjoy the delights and satisfactions of cigarette smoking.

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No need to have nicotine withdrawal in the hospital anymore

Recent Press Ganey scores reflect dissatisfaction among hospitalized smokers for not being able to light up ad lib.  Additional hospital wide bans on tobacco have further fueled this outrage.  One prominent medical center in western North Carolina received numerous patient complaints regarding the prohibition of tobacco in its facility with the emerging theme of, “My COPD ain’t got nothin to do with smoking.”  Other cancer and pulmonary patients echo similar complaints.

The problem has been how to allow patients with ventilator and mechanical assistance to safely and efficiently smoke whenever desired.  The patented PapPal easily solves these problems with an efficient and safe venturi jet turbulator adapter which snaps directly into supply tubing of ventilators, CPAP, BiPAP, and virtually any oxygen delivery system (universal tubing and cigar adapters included).

Bronco Products engineers and researchers report superior smoke uptake when used on any oxygen delivery system utilizing PEEP, however PapPal delivers “remarkable” amounts of smoke with even a simple nasal cannula, according to Dr. John Perkins, a local pulmonologist.  Efficiency of the PapPal has been quantified and verified in clinical trials by increased serum carboxyhemoglobin levels as well as increased patient satisfaction levels via HCAHPS surveys.  PapPal may also be safely used on incentive spirometers with an optional adapter (not included).

Safety is always a concern when smoking in the presence of oxygen.  And, although oxygen itself is not flammable, it is a high-energy gas that rapidly supports combustion.  Bronco Products, Inc. has solved the problem of spontaneous ignition and explosion when used according to the manufacturer’s recommendations.

The patented venturi turbulator uses the actual oxygen pressure of the delivery device to inject a steady stream of rich tobacco smoke into the oxygenated supply tubing thereby never allowing the flame to come in contact with oxygen enhanced mixture.  The makers of PapPal also include a handy laminated chart to estimate cigarette burn time according to PEEP settings and oxygen flow in liters per minute.

The remarkably efficient PapPal is available from most respiratory supply companies and all American tobacco companies without a prescription for home use.  Many hospitals are now allowing patients to bring their own PapPal to use while hospitalized.

Tell your health care provider, surgeon, and hospitalist you just won’t be bullied by smoking cessation, bad-tasting nicotine replacement candies, or messy patches.  Most insurance companies offer reimbursement for PapPal as it is a much cheaper alternative to Chantix or nicotine replacement adjuncts.  Also, Broncho Products has applied for FDA approval using other smoking materials such as marijuana in those 23 U.S. states allowing its use.

Get your reasonably priced PapPal now and be prepared for your next hospital visit!

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  • Jan Strong

    Haha! I am a Respiratory Therapist. For those of us dealing with smoking patient’s in the hospital- this in an awesome SATIRICAL article.

  • John R. Polito

    For each of the more than 5 million smokers who’ll smoke themselves to death this year 19 others are already living with a smoking related disease. Truth is, coming home is vastly easier and far more wonderful than your wanting for that next fix will suggest.

  • Juan Jesus Rhoades

    Technology=Fail
    I hope they have to pay out of pocket for this!

  • Juan Jesus Rhoades

    Technology=Fail
    I hope they have to pay out of pocket for this!

  • Michael

    Some people will believe anything just because it’s on the internet…sad

  • Ruth Walton

    Un.f’__ng.believable!

  • Bonnie Simons

    Patient satisfaction is our #1 priority! ;)

  • Thomas Thurlow

    Only question is will nursing or respiratory be responsible for charting it on the computer and flow sheet and respiratory log?

  • palinopsia

    We already use this in our hospital, works great!

  • John Jenkins

    Well that’s just sad….and stupid.

  • Sarah Schilke Haroldson

    I keep thinking these are real articles…until I read them

  • Laura Pehanic Kuperman

    They are actually PROUD of this?

  • Robin Fahringer Mitchell Machajewski

    Oooooooh! This is gonna be a HUGE hit with those dudes with trachs at the VA!

  • Deborah Creech Biggs

    “Copd runs in my family, I can’t help that” *long drag*

  • Hydro Cabric

    You just lit my world in flames of pleasure.

  • Bill Moore

    Peoples’ outrage is the funniest part!

  • Rachel Roessel

    I can totally see someone inventing this.

  • Daniel Lazaro

    What crap

  • Dana Ashlock

    Sherri Croston Jenkins!!!! :) hahahaha

  • Aaron O’Grady

    Daniel Lazaro

  • Sean McGuire

    Kristine Pearce

  • Jana Wendel Thornton

    Shhh, ya ruin it for the rest of us.

  • Tanya Trotter

    You can’t fix stupid!!

  • Indy Jonz

    what a lifesaver!!

  • Indy Jonz

    what a lifesaver!!

  • Ron Braden

    That would take us full circle to the old anticholinergic cigarettes that one of my pharmacy professors kept as memorabilia! Yay for technology!!!!

  • Ron Braden

    That would take us full circle to the old anticholinergic cigarettes that one of my pharmacy professors kept as memorabilia! Yay for technology!!!!

  • Pat Costello

    What kind of Crap is this !!!

  • Pat Costello

    What kind of Crap is this !!!

  • Jan Grittmann

    Unbelievable

  • Kelee Lum Johnson

    Now that would be stupid.

  • Christine Weeks Barlow

    Oh awesome. Just what they need. On the bright side of addiction, the post surgical smokers are always the first to volunteer to ambulate. Gotta go get some “fresh air.”

  • Kay Harshberger Chapin

    Gotta love these!

  • Joseph Burnett

    And people thought they had to smoke through their trach hole.

  • Tina MacKinnon

    Patient satisfaction scores skyrocket.

  • Monica Flanery

    You all crack me up!!! Keep em coming!!!

  • Scott Lancaster

    It’s the Gomer blog, satire.

  • Joseph Stalker

    Scott Lancaster

  • Danna Flores

    This is awesome and terminated the need for familes to push patients and their vents all the way out into the parking lot to smoke.

  • Michael Stahlschmidt

    Unreal.

  • Ana Negron

    This really is Patient Centered… Thank you!

  • Kim Still Chunn

    Well it’s about time!

  • Christopher Befort

    I’m gonna see about inventing this.

  • Melissa Sands-Cole

    Wonder if they cover that under medicaid/medicare??

  • Yan Shi

    Press Ganey Approved

  • Kim Palmer Bolt

    Awesome!

  • Liz Pomeroy

    Medicaid approved!

  • Anna Contreras LaRosa

    This is genius…. Pair it with a rx for the atrovent-cigarette and we could manage our chronic pulmonary patients…. Easier?

  • Dennis Paulic

    Harlan Brick can we invest in this ???

  • Doug Frater
  • Amy Wobser

    Sad thing is, if it were real, the inventor would be rich, because you know it’d be a huge seller.

  • Eric Sittniewski

    Why ask why?

  • Alice J Xu

    Nooo freaking way….

  • Dawn Echevarria

    Wtf???????

  • Lynn Alexis Olsen

    Jay Taylor

  • Chananya Goldman

    Brilliant invention!

  • April Langholz Lynch

    And COPD’rs can elect to be intubated ! To smoke. Yay

  • Pam Black

    And no need for a Tobacco cessation consult! !!!

  • Brandy Acklin Bradford

    Sarah Mj Wadesworld

  • Amber Bowen

    Brittany Rankin

  • Joanie Sapienza

    Bahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhaahhahahah!

  • Brandy Acklin Bradford

    Perfect yay for my copd pts!!!

  • Rebecca Reed

    Haha!

  • Laura K Martin

    Why not vape?

  • Kathy Stringham

    OMG!

  • Stephanie Hargesheimer Zoll

    Kevin, have you seen this site?? It’s like the Onion for healthcare professionals. It’s pretty funny.

  • Christi Clare-Anderson

    Too funny!!!

  • Carol Radley Hartnett

    What!!!!!!!!?????????

  • Raza S

    Daniel, Alice

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