dilaudid graph
66.9K Shares

BOSTON, MA – As many doctors and nurses have discovered the hard way, a recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine elucidated the seemingly perfect linear relationship with Dilaudid administration and Press Ganey score until the point of respiratory depression obligating Narcan.  Per patient report, after this point, the patient’s high is completely ruined (as are the chances that the MD or nurse get a reasonable Press Ganey score from these particular patients).

dilaudid graph

Specific feedback was requested in survey form and the following responses touch on the most common themes:

“I mean, I was fine; that a**hole doctor totally crushed my high.”

“Seriously, I was fiiiinnneeeee.”

“I’m not even mad.  That was some good stuff, and now I’m sober enough to drive to Grandma’s house to get some food.”

Thus, emergency physicians and nurses hoping to fund their next trip to Hawaii by boosting their Press Ganey scores should be aware that they are playing with fire.  A single dose of Narcan is all that is required to completely kill a patient’s perfectly good buzz and that Hawaii trip.

Be sure to check out other great articles from this author’s page at The Pannus.

66.9K Shares

Tags:

  • Show Comments

  • Lisa Stephens

    I’ve given more Dilaudid in the past 3 years on a Med/Surg unit than all of my 17 years prior working in various Cardiology units. Unbelievable!

  • Jillian David

    Yeah! Pt satisfaction inversely correlates with both appropriate treatment and chance of survival. I knew it!

  • Becky Hughey

    Sucks to be a narcan pusher,huh?

  • Suz N My

    GTFO. “Great care” turns into “that nurse is a bitch” as soon as we start weaning the IV narcs.

  • Frankie Crabtree

    Ever woke anyone up with Narcan I liked!

  • Laura Coleman Goodwin

    Lol so true!

  • Melea Kizziah

    Laura lmao!

  • Matt Rutledge

    About time some people

  • Amy Middlemas Osborne

    Bahahaha Nicole Manning

  • Greg Krowicki

    And send the study results to the joint commission while you’re at it.
    Lol joint commission, are they from Colorado?

  • Casey Worsham

    No Narcan! No Narcan!

  • Renee Stanfield-Kerner

    Greg Miller, all I can say is WOW!

  • Kat Moore

    This may be a satire site, but this is so true hah

  • Roger Cotton

    Bryan
    I do not understand the article but I have a dilaudid pump in me

  • Greg Miller

    I had a patient brought in who had stopped breathing from a heroin overdose. I gave him narcan he came to, looked around stared breathing and asked what happened. When I told him I gave him Narcan he told me he was allergic to Narcan. I asked him what happened when he had Narcan before and he actually to,d me “it took my high away” so I asked him if he stopped breathing again should I not give him Narcan and let him die and he said “YES, don’t you know what allergic means?”

  • Cindy Allen Gillespie

    lol!

  • Marne Tower

    OMG that is so true—also works with ritalin

  • Amber Banks

    Lmao

  • Shelby McKinley

    Hahahaha

  • Golru Ghaffari-Greene

    Totally with you – not sure how much is satire!

  • Robin Fahringer Mitchell Machajewski

    Another one truly difficult to recognize as satire…

  • Korry Harrier

    Dianna remember when we had that class and they told us to dilute 0.4 mg in 10 ml NaCl and push it over 5 minutes…..all the ed nurses in the class started laughing

  • Laura Rogan Young

    Well of course

  • Cassidyshea Robinson

    I finally got to use it. Resulted in explosive diarrhea… so thAt plus the angry addict made for quite the adventure. Guess I could have gotten diarrhea and projectile vomiting… so guess 2 out of 3 was a good deal!!!

  • Cassidyshea Robinson

    I finally got to use it. Resulted in explosive diarrhea… so thAt plus the angry addict made for quite the adventure. Guess I could have gotten diarrhea and projectile vomiting… so guess 2 out of 3 was a good deal!!!

  • Laura Tattershall

    Erin Steele…I knew it!

  • Jill Winters Addington

    Satire can be closer to the truth than the actual truth!

  • Jill Winters Addington

    Satire can be closer to the truth than the actual truth!

  • Cathy Olmsted

    ROTHFLMBO

  • Cathy Olmsted

    ROTHFLMBO

  • Cyndy Cunningham

    THIS is GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Cyndy Cunningham

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Cyndy Cunningham

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Kelly Krawtz

    Liz Palmer

  • Karen Townley

    good one

  • Karen Townley

    good one

  • Dianna Byron

    I took away many a buzz trip in the ER with the full 2mg! It’s great! Occasionally I miss it then I find my sanity again!

  • Dianna Byron

    I took away many a buzz trip in the ER with the full 2mg! It’s great! Occasionally I miss it then I find my sanity again!

  • Robert Hadden

    Yap!

  • Carole Miller Hallin

    “The Pannus”

  • Golru Ghaffari-Greene

    This is what i am saying. Really rethinking career options!

  • Nathaniel Gallagher

    Tyler Bullion

  • Brittany Nichol

    Vu Hu Dat I though u would appreciate this…

  • Gregg Fletcher

    This does seem to be the case. Too much truth in this satire.

  • Steven J Sheridan

    Duh, no shit

  • Kate Benedict

    Golru Ghaffari-Greene

  • Teresa N Donny McArdle

    this one looks real! ha

  • Marsh Warren

    Really??? Really ?? gee, i would have NEVER put those ideas together!!!! yes indeed….. people get really pissed when the CFD brings them in and we give a REAL jolt of Narcan…none of that .4 mg, but the whole 2 mg IV !!!!!!!!!!

  • Courtney Stine

    Are you sure this is satire?

  • Carmen Hatch

    Hahahaha…imagine that!

  • Bob Steele

    this country’s healthcare has become bass ackwards

  • Jacqui ‘Duehning’ Labott

    Lol!!!

  • Bob Levy

    Greg Kutcher Mike Wootten Rossi Bistodeau Cannon

  • Tope Adebara

    Yup

  • Layla Jones

    Shocking!

  • Chris Campbell Walker

    LOL!!

  • Candy Gehm Carter

    Give them a Dilaudid drip with a roller clamp and let the patient or their family titrate to their heart’s content!

  • Christopher Blewett

    Ryan McCorkle John H Blewett Paulgun Sulur Richard Linsky

  • Jennifer Spickler McGuire

    Rachel Carty Moehlmann

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

66.9K Shares