
HOUSTON, TX – In an imaginative new tactic to publicly shame his residents, orthopedic surgeon Dr. Scott Winslow has started reducing the length of his resident’s white coats for each mistake made.

“It all started after a tough day of work,” explains Dr. Winslow. “One of my residents was really pissing me off that day for whatever reason, so when I got home, I sat on my couch thinking of ways to shame the guy. All of a sudden this genius plan came to mind.”
The “genius plan” Dr. Winslow devised entails removing strips of his residents’ white coats with shears for each mistake made.
“Think about it,” says Dr. Winslow. “I’ve got a long coat, but I’m the boss. I don’t make mistakes. Why should they have the same coat privileges that I do? This way, everyone can see how many mistakes they’ve made, and their public humiliation will prevent them from making any more.”
One resident in particular, Dr. Christopher Seymour, has been hit the hardest by Dr. Winslow’s new coat-shortening policy.
“I was having a really rough week. I was holding the instruments wrong in the OR, cutting knots too short, then too long. I was a disaster and Winslow was furious. We get to rounds the next day, and to make up for the day prior, I quickly ran to gather all the vitals on all the patients. I wrote down all the ins, but guess what? I forgot the outs. As soon as Dr. Winslow realized my mistake, he threw down his papers, walked over to the desk and grabbed shears. He made me turn around and took two-inches off the back of my coat in front of everyone. It was humiliating.”
“My god, that was a glorious moment,” recalls a triumphant Dr. Winslow. “One of those times you really get to show everyone how in-charge you truly are.”
But not everyone is as thrilled with the new shaming tactic, least of all, Dr. Seymour.
“Over the last two weeks, my coat’s just gotten shorter and shorter. It doesn’t even reach my belt line anymore. Yesterday, the med student ordered me to grab him some gauze and a kerlix. The med student, for god’s sake. I used to be the senior on the team, now I’m the supply mule. I can’t even use my pockets to carry stuff because they’ve been cut off!”
Surgery departments throughout the hospital are taking note of the policy and are in the process of implementing similar tactics. One attending was overheard saying, “Why didn’t we think of this genius idea before!”
Many are already speculating that the ACGME will not be happy and will soon publish minimum lengths for white coat lengths to protect residents.
The short coats are coming! The short coats are coming!
We looked so ridiculous.
Sounds about par for the course
Oh that is just classic!
hilarious…..
CNSC!
Or your clinical dietitian :)
Glad we didn’t that when I was a resident.. Would’ve been wearing just a shaw over my shoulders…
Lol
LOL!
In my 7 yrs as a nurse I’ve never received WRONG tpn from the pharmacy.
Did they do a time out before they cut ?
It’s scary
ITS. A . SATIRE. WEBSITE
Get it ?
Thankfully my program gives me three coats per yeR
Lol
Never? That’s a bold statement.
And they’re still never correct!
can’t mess up those TPN orders! Call your pharmacist.:)
can’t mess up those TPN orders! Call your pharmacist.:)
Lol
Lol
Do people realize this is satirical??? Hilarious!!!
You know this is a satire website, right? As in fake? *facepalm*
That’s ridiculous. As if that jackass never made a mistake as a resident, or as an attending. That’s why you’re in training!
I can see you doing this Dr Picconi!!
Pharmacist-managed TPNs for the win!
You don’t have to mess up TPN orders to be treated with such disrespect. Just be a surgery resident at Emory or Duke.
I have a short dentist and she wears white lab coat. long – she looks like a little monk.. cute and I love her.. as much as u can love a dentist LOL
Gomerblog is the best!
Chris Meduri Sharif Halim Andrew N. Rassi Robi Goswami
Didn’t read this yet, but isn’t the title just referencing Duke Med Center???
Sounds like a great way to exacerbate the mental health issues plaguing the medical training system. Maybe this attending should focus on being a better teacher instead of glorying in his resident’s shame.
I have this image of a Marine DI as an Attending making the residents do push ups while their coats are being trimmed up.
Uh. Those don’t look like JCAHO approved scissors. They appear to be actually cutting and that’s dangerous
Awesome!
Hilarious….It’s amazing how many think this blog is real….
Sounds like the prof is on a power trip!
Mansoor Jatoi
The day of med school graduation, I took my short white coats out and burned them!