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BOCA RATON, FLORIDA — Millennial hipsters have been rushing to their spas to experience a “cucumber water ear lavage” which is pretty much the same as an ear wash but just sounds so much more refreshing. ENT physician Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram, who rebranded this common simple procedure into a lucrative concierge service, is now a billionaire.

cucumber water“I was doing an ear wash on a patient with impacted earwax when I had an epiphany,” recounts Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram. “What if, instead of a peroxide solution, I used water which had cucumber slices soaking in them? And what if I rebranded the procedure name & made it a cash-pay service?”

When Dr Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram started offering cucumber water ear lavages at a price tag of $1500, demand among the well-to-do suburban soccer mom demographic spiked. “Honestly, I was just trying to follow in the footsteps of the dude who started raking in dough for his nasal sinus wash invention.”

When pressed by Gomerblog about the lack of sufficient evidence that his procedure offers any medical benefit whatsoever, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram suddenly started pointing at his own ears and yelling “WHAT?! I CAN’T HEAR WHAT YOU’RE SAYING!!! TIME FOR ANOTHER REJUVENATING CUCUMBER WATER EAR LAVAGE!!!”

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Dr Pablo Pistola
Dr Pablo Pistola had become increasingly dissatisfied with satisfaction-based forces in medicine. He felt like a doctor without a purpose. He subsequently embarked on a 7 year twerking quest in the Himalayan foothills to find his true calling. During this journey, he realized that he has a secret talent: his immense knowledge about women. He understands them. Legend has it that he can size up a woman’s soul in a mere instant. He didn’t ask for these powers. But with great powers come great responsibilities. So Dr Pablo Pistola (double-board certified in Love Medicine & Romance Medicine, with fellowship training in Seduction Medicine) has been dabbling in satirical erotic writing. And if satirical erotic writing can offer a viable exit strategy from medicine, then the world will be a better place. His responsibility is to bring the stories of lust to you. He also is an avid life-long Miami Heat fan. Follow him on twitter at @drpablopistola