scrub top

ASHEVILLE, NC – Breaking news into Gomerblog as OR nurse Sara Khan is facing a life-changing crisis as she debates whether or not to tuck in her scrub top into her scrub pants.  Asheville Medical Center has come to a standstill as everyone nervously anticipates what will happen next.

scrub top
“To tuck or not to tuck? That is the question…”

“What is the right thing to do?!” begged Khan, on the phone with the on-call ethics specialist.  “I see lots of people tuck in their scrub tops into their scrub pants.  But I also see lots of people leave their scrub tops untucked.”  She starts sobbing.  “Oh dear, what do I do?  The ramifications could be dire!”

Khan’s dilemma has led health care providers and ancillary staff who have ever worn scrubs to reexamine their own scrubs use and the impact of tucking that scrub top on patient morbidity and morbidity.

“To be honest, I never thought about it until today,” said floor nurse Frank Ricci.  “I’ve always left my scrub tops out, untucked, but now I can’t help but wonder have I been wrong?  For over 25 years, have I been wrong?  And how many patients and families have been affected by my nearsidedness?  How many have died?!”

Medical tech Elaine Riley faces the same dilemma.  “I’m a scrub top tucker, I admit it,” she explained, breaking down into a sad glob of sniffles.  “If I’m wrong, then you know what else I’ve been tucking into my pants all this time?  Shame.  Years and years of shame.”

Hospital administration has placed the hospital on diversion while they search for a solution.  For the first-time in its history, Asheville Medical Center will hold a town hall-style forum in their main auditorium for all employees.

“We will debate and debate until we find the right solution,” explained hospital CEO Chaz Moneybags, showing the resolve of someone who has had resolve before.  “If not, there’s only one compromise: do what Wayne Gretzky does and tuck in one side of the scrub top.  Preferable the right.  He’s called The Great One for a reason.”

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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