CNN Announces New Show: The Emergency Room with Wolf Blitzer

The Emergency Room with Wolf Blitzer
“You’re now in the Emergency Room”

ATLANTA, GA – “Happening now, we want to welcome our viewers in the United States and around the world.  I’m Wolf Blitzer, and you’re in the Emergency Room.”  Blitzer is moving on from The Situation Room, and foraying into a show dedicated solely to health care.

“We love the show’s opener.  In fact, we’re thinking about playing it to every patient who enters our ER,” said Grady Memorial Hospital emergency medicine physician Joel Brookings.  “‘I’m Wolf Blitzer, you’re septic, and you’re in the Emergency Room!‘” Brookings say mimicking Blitzer’s voice.  “Wouldn’t that be awesome?!”

For fans of Wolf, don’t worry, he will still continue his trademark “resolutely humorless” style, though it is unclear if he can maintain it during several minutes of grueling chest compressions.