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FLUSHING, NY – No. 1 seed Rafael Nadal cruised to victory in his opening match against Dujan Lajovic despite calling a brief medical timeout after his limbs fell off his body one by one while chasing down shot after shot in an epic second set rally.  His physical style of play is legendary, and auto-amputation is just vintage Nadal.  A team of orthopedic, trauma, and plastic surgeons reattached his limbs during a 6-minute stoppage.  He also received 4 units of blood while the court was being decontaminated.  The Spaniard from Mallorca hopped back onto the court and ultimately won the first-round match in straight sets 7-6 (8-6), 6-2, 6-2.

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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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