CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline

CDC headquarters, ignore, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, bed bugsATLANTA, GA – Tonight, shortly after reading the public a bedtime story, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) wanted to say “Good night!” and issue a reminder to all Americans to “sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.”

“The little bastards, also known as Cimex lectularius, are 1 to 7 mm in diameter and reddish-brown in color.  They can hide in bed frames, box springs, and the seams of mattresses, but if you’re tucked in tight enough, it becomes that much tougher for them to get to you,” explained Acting Director for the CDC Dr. Anne Schuchat, who is now tucked in so tight that she at risk for full-body compartment syndrome.  “If they do bite you, don’t say you haven’t been warned.”

Bed bugs are not thought to harbor any serious disease.  Reactions from bed bug bites can range from a small bite mark to an allergic reaction, the treatment of which involves only one thing: Dilaudid (hydromorphone).

Before everyone turns in for the night, the CDC also wants to remind the public to “sleep tight, don’t let the MRSA spider bite your antecubital fossa.”



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